motherhood

One Number Away

June 30, 2026 by Monica Leave a Comment

One Number Away

Song by Luke Combs ‧ 2017

Lyrics

Are you sitting at home all alone
Trying to fall asleep?
Are you staring a hole through your phone
Praying that it rings?
Are you watching a movie that you’ve seen
A thousand times?
Or maybe playing some Mayer
Getting lost in your favorite lines?

Well, if you’re anything like me
You just might be doing whatever it takes to drown out the noise
But I just wanna hear your voice

I’m one number away from calling you…

**********

Ponder those lyrics, and I’ll be back to those.

Setting: eons ago, way before 5 babies, long before a dream destination wedding, even before one of us had a 9-5 job, Adam was stuck at a gas station, midnight, penniless and out of gas.

Now, before you start to think that this was something that could have been avoided… well, it could’ve. But you still need to know more.

Rewind three days, when 72 hours of fancy dinners out, fun movie tickets, grocery runs for snacks, even cute boutiques for knick knacks that made me smile, each dollar he arrived with was being spent. ( unbeknown to a blissfully in love and unaware me.) When it came time Sunday night for him to leave Northern Virginia and drive back the 150 miles to his college dorm, he made it halfway before realizing he was completely empty. In fuel and in funds. Every last thing he had, he had given it up for me. For my happiness, our hours together. And without so much as a single hesitation in his gestures.

As I type, I am tearing up. What love. What sacrifice.

This story came back to me as I sat in church on Sunday listening to the sermon based on Matthew 10:37-42.

As the priest read and reflected, discussing all it takes to be a disciple and follower of Jesus Christ, he referred many times to our constant inability to understand that God’s power, love, compassion, etc are all limitless. This isn’t about us. And what WE can do.

It occured to me that the way my brain and heart seem to function over the years is under a gauge system. Like a gas tank. A little here for the quick errand, a little more for the daily school commutes, and then a big 150 mile trip- certainly draining the supply. And when its out its out. Empty is empty.

After a long, hard day- battles behind closed doors, fights thrashing at our faith- many times, we’ve got nothing left.

And we might have given up on God in those moments, but He’s never given up on us.

There’s no ceiling, no walls, no geographical line, no heart, no hurt, no soul He cannot reach.

It is often in these “hitting rock bottom” feelings, that God meets us.

He knows we don’t have enough to keep going, so he offers us the only true source of life: Himself.

You can go to Him. Every minute of every day. He’ll never turn you away, be too far, or run out of love for us.

Take a moment to really try to grasp that. It’s a doozey for our tiny minds and hardened hearts.

We disobey, make mistakes, ignore Him, and yet He is there. Waiting. Arms open. Giving us His all.

Not a little, because it’s all we deserve after a fall, or that He’s saving it for when we finally deserve it because we’ve been good enough.

But everything. Right now.

And He’ll offer it again tomorrow.

And the next day.

And the next.

Are you in a season where you are uttering any of these?

“I can’t anymore.”

“I’m done.”

“I have nothing left.”

“It’s too much.”

I have. A lot recently.

I’ve been reading books, googling tips, reciting mantras, and then stringing words together resembling desperate prayers. Sometimes, only barely whispering, “Come, Jesus, come.”

But this morning, Riley found me on the couch, half awake, fumbling through my phone.

She climbed right up on my lap, put her little black LED lights remote up against her own ear, and said “Brrring, briiiing, Hewoo?”

I smiled, put my phone up against my ear, and then cried happy tears.

She was right. I was doing everything else first. But what I really needed to do… was make the call.

To the One who knows me the most. And loves me without limitations.

There is a bare beauty to being utterly empty: you finally have to stop. (Whether you want to or not.) You have a chance to put aside your pride and desire to fix things all by yourself. And ask for help.

( Which is what my sweet, selfless, stuck husband eventually did all those years ago.)

So back to the Luke Combs song…

Well, if you’re anything like me
You just might be doing whatever it takes to drown out the noise
But I just wanna hear your voice

I’m one number away from calling you…

*********

It sounds like Luke Combs is getting lost trying to fix himself, hide the hurt, move past the pain. And he almost reaches out. But what about us?

What do we do to drown out the thundering noise of the world and its chaos? Who and what will we turn to when times are tough? And is it working?

Why not go straight to the One who’s power is made perfect in our emptiest moments?

I leave you with what comforted many of us as children, so let it bring you healing now…

Dear Heavenly Father,

You know me and love me. Not the conditional kind that is linked to what I do or have done. But the raw and real, sacrificial love that breaks barriers and boundaries. Help me to look to You for the strength and grace to go through these days. And not just survive them, but thrive in them- drawing from You as the never-ending source of life and love when I am hurting and hollow. Thank you for giving me your all. It’s everything I’ll ever need.

In Your beautiful name I pray,

Amen.

Moments of Motherhood

May 8, 2026 by Monica 1 Comment

A couple weeks ago, I took June to school. Without shoes. Oh, I had shoes on…fancy ones. To match my fancy outfit and fancy ( not up in a pony tail under a hat) hair that I was flaunting for Career Day. So, just to clarify- I was all good. But my preschooler had no shoes on her feet.

You see, this is Motherhood in a nutshell. At least for me. One victory ( in this case, securing up babysitting and pulling together a school-wide presentation while not looking homeless for once) led right into a flop. And as amazing as the day was – truly, one of my best in a long time- I kept hearing that voice reminding me about the shoes.

Can anyone relate?

The other day, Quinny tried to quit volleyball, after a pretty horrible set of games. She crawled into the car and said, “I’m done. I don’t want to play anymore. I’m the worst player on the face of the earth.”

I let that simmer for a minute, popped in her favorite song on Amazon music, waited for her smile to return and then proudly told her she was crazy to want to give up after a few bad moments; that tonight did not define her as a player.

While it took her a few more songs and a few more words of wisdom to turn her attitude around, I had to laugh when I realized that is exactly how I sound after I’ve stumbled through the days and weeks. Defined by when I miss the mark.

I wish I could say that I hear those voices a lot less in my 40’s than I did in my teens or 20’s, but the reality is- there’s more a stake now. And I feel like with each mountain scaled, there’s usually an epic trench waiting for me to fall into. Which I usually do…

But I am done feeling this way.

So, without further ado, I am embarking on my first ever Mother’s Day weekend without regret.

I am going to try to embrace this weekend (and my vocation) with a new outlook- one that hinges on God’s approval, not the world’s. I am exchanging exhausted for gratitude.

When I feel like no one is noticing how hard I am working behind the scenes, I will sing anyway. I will shout for joy that I have a family to work hard for. That I have children that grumble and argue and could quite possibly deep down under the teen attitudes really love their mom and tell me that years down the road.

I will clean rooms not to keep them clean but because I get to be in my home and enjoy making it cozy.

I will make the dinners with invention in mind, not seeking approval or applause, but because there is food in my kitchen and I am grateful for the opportunity to create something.

I won’t do these things because anyone actually sees them being done and awards me, but because I can and want to.

I will continue to blow kisses, give hugs, make beds, fold clothes, tidy bathrooms, and set an example of love.

And right now, love looks different for each child.

For the baby, its cuddling and making silly faces.

For the toddler, it’s exploration and colorful popsicles.

For the 11-year old, it’s trips to grab french fries and singing in the car.

For the 13-year old, it’s talking about friends late at night and decorating rooms.

And for my oldest, it’s just showing up. For it all. Especially when she thinks she’s too old to still need me there.

( It is in my expert observations that this stage remains well into the 40’s…I love you, Mom!)

Holding their hand looks different for each one. But loving them is a privilege. And one I do daily with more wrong than right.

But today, and for as long as I can battle those voices, the Mom Math is the one I’m sticking to:

A million little things done right in the quietness, out weigh all the big things done out in the world ending in failure.

God sees it all. Therefore…

1 mother’s heart multiplied by 1 loving God equals 100 % happiness.

True Colors ( plus a bonus pumpkin decor DIY!)

October 6, 2023 by Monica 4 Comments

I love a good meme. I saw some the other day that were surrounding Fall and they just gave me a good giggle. The one that got me the most-

Two weekends ago, when the weather dipped below 80 degrees, I busted out my crockpot- made 15 lbs of chili, let my husband watch endless hours of college football instead of Bluey, lit up every pumpkin pie spice latte candle in the house, and threw on my only chunky sweater.

You could say I was ready for the change.

The funny thing was, the change did not actually last very long. Within the next week- we were back up in the 80’s. And I’m still eating leftover chili.

What is it about this magical season that we long for? One of my daughters pointed out the other day on the way to school that, “I beg for summer and sunny, warm weather and then when I get it, all I want is winter and cold, snowy weather.” Yup. Sounds about right.

As much as people claim to not like change, there seems to be a true pining, a yearning for it each year. I believe it’s why the Fall season is so widely loved. With hints of cinnamon, apple, and pumpkin in our foods, warmth in the textures of our clothes, a chill in the air, and a place by the fire calling our names- it all just makes for a welcoming, friendly time of year.

And for me, it’s the leaves. Not to sound cliche or even silly- but I truly love watching the leaves change. In fact, I was so busy admiring the leaves on a huge Maple tree, that I was a sitting duck for falling acorns. One hit me so hard directly on the crown of my head that I actually yelled out, “OUUUUUUCH! That really HURT!” It was so loud that I apparently scared the dickens out of June laying there in the stroller.

I shared in my latest book, Just Compose Yourself, (in a list of confessions) that I once packed my ziplock bags, dusted off my best sneakers, and holding a flyer from a telephone pole that read “Neighborhood Leaf Collection”- went out to meet my neighbors… to collect leaves.

Turns out… that I was slightly mistaken, and the trucks were coming to grab piles of your raked up leaves. And that was it.

So, after a good laugh every year at this time, I still stop and pick up leaves, collecting them as a reminder of the beauty within.

I say within, because- get ready- a fun, scientific fact about Fall leaves: the color has been in them the whole time. Due to the lessening of the sun shining, and the lack of chlorophyll created, the overwhelming green diminishes, and the leave’s true colors are revealed.

Having that little tidbit of information in my back pocket has helped me with all the changes going on in my own life. This is a busy time of year. I am now spending the better portion of my day in the car-commuting my children to their different schools, toting a tantrum-y toddler around, (she actually launched a handful of Dunkin’ Donuts tater tots at me from the backseat yesterday) helping with hours of homework and test prep, signing permission slips left and right, all while trying not to burn dinner, dropping and cheering the girls at their three different sports, and tucking them all in with bedtime stories and kisses. And as a result- not even getting close to knocking things off my own daily to-do or would-like-to-do lists.

To be honest, it’s very tempting to lay down each night underappreciated and wake up each day overwhelmed.

But, as I rise each morning, to a quiet, dark house- I have tried to sit up in bed and whisper these 16 simple words before ever touching the floor or grabbing my phone. And believe me, the devil will take swings at you when you try this- telling you that this is too small of a step and it won’t make a difference. But friends, it is making a difference- all the difference in the world.

It’s a reset button. It’s not one more thing- it’s the ONLY thing, when I’m feeling this way. When I’m overwhelmed, I’m choosing to be overwhelmed by Him. I feel it setting the stage for Thankfulness- realizing I am still blessed while over my head in the mess.

And being “glad”? It requires opening our eyes, ears, and other senses to the good (its in there!) that lies beneath. Sometimes it’s just buried beneath the to-do’s, the paperwork, the miles in the car, the hugs and heartaches.

No day has been perfect, but there is more joy in my Fall season this year. And it’s not just my from the warmth of chunky sweater or the sweet smell of the hundreds of pumpkin spice everything. It’s truly as if I’m seeing all the beauty and colors in my daily world that had actually always been there, but were covered up before.

So, my friends- pick up that PSL, go for a walk, and look around. Recite Psalm 118 and meditate on those words. The Lord made this day. The next 24 of your hours are a gift. So, embrace it for all can be and all it is. See the beauty in the true colors of the spilled coffee, the mistakes and mayhem, remembering that seasons come and seasons go. But there is good to be glad in. Just don’t forget to watch for those falling acorns.

BONUS-DIY pumpkin decor

CUTENESS overload, right? These are so easy to make- just follow the simple steps below!

Materials: ( I used everything laying around my house- when I want to craft- I want to craft right away! )

ribbon in orange-y colors
a background- I used leftover tiles from Coaster craft night – you could also use a canvas, card stock, an old picture frame, etc.
gold wire or wired twine
brown card stock or a brown paper bag
scissors and glue gun

Step 1) Take the end of your first ribbon and after twisting it a bit, pinch to hold tight.

Step 2) Make a dot of hot glue in the center of your background and push your twisted ribbon onto it.

Step 3) Continue to twist your ribbon and gluing it in a circle.

Step 4) Decide when you want to switch the ribbon colors- it could be a back and forth pattern or just half and half! Cut the first ribbon free.

Step 5) Take your second ribbon and following step 1, attach it right to the end of your first ribbon. Begin twisting and winding and gluing.

Step 6) Finish your pumpkin shape and cut the ribbon free.

Step 7) Cut a stem from the brown card stock and glue it on top.

Step 8) Wrap your finger in the gold wire to curl it, cut free, and glue it to the stem.

Voila! Display and enjoy!

A Labor of Love

September 6, 2022 by Monica 3 Comments

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been frustrated? A tiny bit angry? A tad on the edge of blowing up? A hair away from a breakdown?

If you answered “yes”- then I’m right there with you. If you answered “no” – well, hats off to you! You must have the patience of a saint!

Labor Day can be, in theory, a day off from regular life. A holiday- from work and the demands of a stressful daily schedule. It’s on every calendar and commercial- it’s the real deal! However, I say “in theory” because in my home, this did not actually happen. I can proudly say that I’m 100% guilty of a completely unrealistic goal to have a stress-free day without the normal chaos of motherhood.

I had hoped for a blissful family day, one where there was helping with the dishes after breakfast, a picnic lunch in the backyard, followed by a final swim in the pool and a movie night!

I know, what on earth was I thinking? ( I do this a lot.)

While my expectations were obviously miles off, my husband’s were not. He had a day off from work and a to-do list to start tackling. That’s what he was excited about! Leaf blowing and a garage pick-up. And that makes perfect sense! When else was he going to do it?

But this is where the tension, frustration and slight anger on my part began…

Just because the post office doesn’t deliver mail, that hot dogs are BOGO, and that you can get couches and refrigerators for 75% off doesn’t guarantee a peaceful day in the home. It was quite the opposite! More people, more snack wrappers, more arguing over the TV remote, more “I thought YOU were watching June…” (I’ve seriously heard that 10 times this morning.) Eek.

Ladies- and gentleman…there IS no such day off for moms.

BUT- there also is no such things as a day off for Love.

And I’m just starting to realize they are intrinsically and eternally connected.

Labor- by definition-

verb

work hard; make great effort.”they labored from dawn to dusk” Similar:work (hard)toil, slave (away),grind, sweat, struggle Opposite: rest, relax, laze
have difficulty in doing something despite working hard.

Ahhhh… “to make great effort”, “struggle”, “have difficulty despite working hard”. Wow. I believe that pretty much describes my general day.

When I decided to take a moment (and step outside because I was legitimately throwing a toddler fit that I was ” laboring” and doing dishes by myself and everyone was and “resting and relaxing“) I breathed in and out and wondered what God thought about this idea of work.

So I googled.

And this is a verse that came up.

Okaaaaay, so that was humbling.

God ALSO doesn’t ever take a break. Or get a day off… or relax and rest…when it comes to us and our salvation. He WORKS. ( present tense) Hard. Each and every day- pouring His love into us- even on the days when we don’t quite deserve it. ( ahhhhheemmmm.)

He has also given each of us gifts- unique abilities- that He knows will propel us into a life full of happiness, joy, and for His good. And a Holy Spirit to call on to give that extra boost of patience, kindness and fortitude. Our “labor” can, in fact, be a gift. To our families, to our friends and neighbors, to our Heavenly Father.

Then, for kicks and giggles, I looked up the verse that followed. I thought to myself- if that verse was spot on- I bet there’s some serious wisdom in the following verses.

Mic drop.

So… I think what I’m hearing is that I should put on my big-girl pants and quit my crying.

My life, my children, my marriage, the dirty dishes…( It’s just coincidence that those two followed each other, BTW…) it can all be labored with love. It just takes a little less grumbling and a whole lot more Jesus.

I am off to open my heart, mind, and hands to the work of Him who loves me.

Now, if you’ll excuse me- I need to go find June.

Motherhood: A whole lotta laundry, a surge of soap and a courageous cacti

May 3, 2022 by Monica 3 Comments

Funny motherhood quotes. | Quotes about motherhood, Mother quotes, Mom life quotes

Funny Mom Quotes That Will Have You Cry-Laughing | Reader's Digest

Ha- did I get your attention with this blog post title? It came to me in pieces, but the final part was on a neighborhood walk… keep reading for that story…

Now, Motherhood. What job on earth compares? Not many, I dare say. I love the memes and images that come up when you google Mothers.

A few of my favorites: ( seriously get ready to spit out your coffee)

https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-mom-memes/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

I chose the title to highlight a few things about Motherhood that have been on my heart. Two truths and some encouragement.

A whole lotta laundry: I was fighting with the laundry the other day ( the clothes were winning) and as I struggled with a sore back and aching arms to successfully move what seemed to be 30 lbs of soaking wet pants, soccer shirts, underwear and towels from the washer to the dryer, something smacked me in the face. And it wasn’t a loose baby sock. Each time I leaned in to transfer the heavy load from one machine to the other, I found myself mumbling, “I do NOT remember putting ALL this in here… jeesh, this is utterly ridiculous…and it’s HEAAAAVVVYYYY.”

Okay, am I alone on this one? Has that happened to anyone else while unloading the washer? I think I reached in 10 times and pulled out everything our family owns. How did it all get in there? I know I don’t love to sort, but I can’t imagine throwing all of that in. In fact, the washer can’t wash and the dryer can’t dry if it’s overloaded… See, Adam, I do listen when you talk :O) The “chunka chunka” noises coming from my laundry room are certainly sounds of a something extremely hardworking, but also the very sounds of something that could break at any time…

ooooooooo.

You see what I did there? Huge metaphor for Motherhood. Right. In. Front. Of. Us.

We don’t always realize the burden and weight of all we’re doing until it comes down to the wire. The machine buzzer, or in Mom terms: the child who asks us to find their favorite shirt as the bus is coming down the street, the email asking for one more of your already-packed hours, the shopping list that keeps building, the overdue library books, the gym membership that’s collecting dust, the Amazon order you were counting on thats now somehow “lost”… and I could go on and on.

It’s a lot. And it’s heavy. And it certainly didn’t start out that way, did it? We had really good intentions. But we’re only one person.

Matthew 11:28 - “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, a...

On to the next metaphor…

I was cleaning the bathroom the other day, ( another highly relatable moment in a Mother’s life) and I was refilling the beautiful soap dispenser I had recently purchased from the Magnolia section at Target. Full disclosure- sometimes I go there and sit on the couch and pretend Chip and Jo are sitting next to me and ask for my help on their next project. Then, someone throws something at me and wakes me up from that dream….

So, I slowly and carefully tipped over the extra-large refill container and started to gently squeeze and let the soap flow into the pretty one. All went well, I filled it perfectly! Then I went to put the dispensing top on and the soap erupted like a volcano on all sides. Now I had a huge mess. I may have added the perfect amount of soap, but I had forgotten to leave room for the most important part…

Lastly, some encouragement.

I went on a walk in my neighborhood yesterday and I was stopped by the sweetest older gentleman. After exchanging “Good Mornings”, he pointed up his driveway and asked me to watch the cactus sitting by his porch.

I took off my sunglasses and stared at it intently. The sweet man smiled and let out a little chuckle. He told me that he didn’t mean watch it right now, but be on the lookout for what would happen soon. He went on to tell me that this particular, amazing cacti only blooms once a year and when it does, its only for a day.

Once a Year These Cacti Will Flower for 24 Hours » TwistedSifter

This, my friends, is our challenge and blessing all in one.

Motherhood- a vocation, a load that is heavier than we thought it would be, a life where we are overflowing with our commitments to our families, our communities, our world. There are many times when no one will even see us at our best, how hard we are working behind the scenes. Most will walk right by and only see the pokes and spikes of our un-showered, un-caffeinated exterior. We will be tempted to measure ourselves by all that we’re not. But rest assured, you have a greater purpose. There is a beauty in it all, and we can bloom nonetheless. You are brightening the world- one day, one heart at a time.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Fool me twice: A cautionary tale

August 24, 2018 by Monica 2 Comments

Fool me once – shame on you.

Fool me twice- shame on ME.

Sound familiar?

Well, it has turned into my mothering mantra.

I continue to make the same mistakes over and over again- and what’s worse: I continue to come out flabbergasted at the end results.

EVERY TIME.

So when will I learn?

Take today’s little last-minute “grab the end of Summer by the horns” kind of adventure:

I venture out to Burnside Farms with our friends, a place I have wanted to go for years.

It is known for its gorgeous sunflowers in the later Summer/Fall and its stunning tulips in the Spring.

A photographer’s dream, truly.

Or at least a mom with a fully juiced IPHONE’s dream.

And a pleasant dream, it started out as…

Car packed with snacks, drinks, DVDs, and the address put into both my phone map App and car GPS.

Ah, adventure awaits.

30 minutes in…

A breezy ride down the parkway, a painless merge onto Route 66, kids happily nodding along to the movie coming through their headsets and some inspirational tunes on the radio.

Still living the dream.

10 miles later…

Wait.

Why is my car GPS telling me to turn around?

Hmm, IPHONE app is saying to keep on trekking.

Weird. My car is crazy…

Onward.

10 more miles down the road…

Stinkin’ car gps lady is yelling at me to turn around every chance I get, IPHONE saying the exit is coming up, as the kids are starting to pipe up about popcorn and blankets.

This place better be close…

I take the IPHONE app suggested exit, continue down two different dirt/gravel roads and hear the phone say “arrived destination.”

No farm.

No street.

I am on the ride of the highway. In a ditch. With my flashers on.

Cue the kids.

“WHERE ARE WE, MOM??? ARE WE LOST??? THIS RIDE IS SOOOO LONG…..”

I’ll spare you the choice phrases swarming around in my head, and the even better ones that eventually slipped out under my breath…

I eventually reset my phone map APP and low and behold- it decided to send me 30 minutes back the direction I came from- and ultimately was in sync with the car gps lady.

HOW IRONIC.

Fast forward 30 minutes…

The movie is long over, the girls have resorted to spittting across the car at each other and some, quite impressively- managed to hit me as well.

There is no more popcorn, they have spilled their capri-suns, no doubt between the seats where I will never be able to reach and clean…

And we are pretty much done.

And we have just arrived.

Anyone else see the massive storm a’comin’?

Well, I didn’t.

I mean, I knew meltdowns were possible…but I was still convinced I could give them such a good experience that they would forget ALL about their youthful, silly woes and remember why I am the world’s best mom.

Ha.

Some highlights: ( at least we were in the company of our besties while all this went down…)

The three sunflower umbrellas they gave us upon entry became certifiable weapons.

The girls fought over the one set of sheers I grabbed, and ran down the rows of sunflowers yelling at each other, threatening to stab one another, and pitching fits when I asked if I could cut one down for myself.

They screamed bloody murder every time they saw a bee.

The bottles of water that I was so proud I remembered to bring, got stepped on and/or “accidentally” dumped.

They squinted for pictures.

They complained about everything.

And then they saw the bounce house.

Out yonder past the sunflowers in a field so far away it was hazy looking…

30 minutes later…

We return three baskets more or less in one piece, three sunflower umbrellas- one which won’t close anymore and is being used to knock over everything fragile next to the cash register, and the mean flower lady asks me to hurry up and pay for my five dying sunflowers.

Yup.

Add the extra 25 minutes to the ride home because I decided to trust my car gps lady this time and shut off my phone in lieu of getting dinged by Verizon for roaming the whole morning.

And my car gps lady got me lost.

And I got spit on.

A lot.

So there you have it.

That was the adventure I kept a secret all morning… told them they wold LOVE …. and freak out about… and be so happy.

As I do every time.

So…

Shame on ME.

Why do I do this to myself?

When did everything get so hard?

Is it me?

Is it my kids?

What is the constant ingredient in this recipe for disaster?

I’m not totally sure….

And you cannot quote me on this….

But,

I had an epiphany on the ride home.

It was that friggin’ long.

I once heard the quote:

Ring true for anyone?

It dawned on me during the ride home that my expectations were WAY off. As they seem to be often.

And therefore I resented the whole gosh darn morning.

Somewhere along the lines, I heightened the legit expectations for my children in these such situations.

I am forgetting to check them at face value and then make a discrete and discerning decision about what is realistic if we go forward.

Knowing that my children were tired, irritable, slightly hungry, thirsty- albeit their own fault on that one- but on a whole- and in general: hot messes.

Now, if I had come to this reality before stepping foot into that sunflower field, I think my experience would have been different.

Not theirs, necessarily-

but mine.

I make good decisions sometimes. I really do.

I made a decision almost 3 years ago that I shouldn’t go to the local Library with Quinn.

Or any quiet place for that matter.

It’s just not a good combo at the moment.

And I know I’ll go back.

Someday…

But meanwhile, every time I pass it, I smile.

I’m thinking of all the people I am sparing from a ruined not-at-all quiet or peaceful time.

You’re welcome local library goers… :O)

Why can’t I do that all the time???

I know what Q is capable of, and I have adjusted life accordingly.

But I fall back into the abyss of thinking my kids can handle things they can’t. Or that they will react to the 100 degree fields of sweat, bees and not-so-hearty flowers the same way I do.

But they are kids.

KIDS.

They think like a 3, 5, and 7 year old.

They act like a 3, 5, and 7 year old.

As they well should.

Y’all- I’m not defending our kids or saying these trips are our faults.

But I am praying you learn from them.

Even if it’s one small thing.

Repeat after me:

doing

great

job.

Now, do you feel like you are doing a great job?

If not, try saying it again slowly.

And think of all the people out there- ALL the people, who are struggling day by day.

You are not alone.

You can do this.

If we make it through the day…

With a smile hidden somewhere…

A few laughs…if not AT ourselves, than WITH loved ones…

And remember that life doesn’t have to be perfect.

The kids don’t.

Our houses don’t.

The outfits don’t.

The pictures don’t.

WE don’t.

I leave you with a few quotes…

May one find its way into your heart and fuel your perfectly imperfect life.