back to school

Jesus Take the Wheel…But Please Turn Here

August 13, 2025 by Monica 2 Comments

I had a dream I was a truck driver. Not like my husband’s truck- a snazzy, souped-up Silverado. No, this was a true tracker trailer, with 18 wheels, and lots of heavy stuff being carried. The incredible irony to this sleepy situation is my deathly fear of trucks on the highway. I actually have severe hand sweat and clench my teeth when passing them on any road.

But in my dream- I was crazy confident, cautious, and even calm while carrying all that heavy stuff through high hills and deep valleys.

I think I am supposed to learn something here…

Back to the “Back to School” grind- and I’m far from calm. Rather, a full on mess of supply lists, hunting down the allusive knee-high 100% cotton, but not-too scratchy, ( and “No, Mom- I did not throw out the other one in the trash over the summer”, or “I have NO idea how those got huge holes in the toes, must have been while I wore them to play in the street every night at the beach”) uniform socks in an impossible shade of blue , Ubering to pre-season tryouts, answering emails and signing up for things, trolling the internet for deals on lunchboxes that are cute, but not too cute for teens, but somehow still have a mature, high-school version of Hello Kitty on them…I’m seriously exhausted just typing this.

Am I alone?

There’s a deafening silence here, so Im going to use my imagination and pretend theres a huge auditorium of tired moms with coffee stains on their shirts and hands being raised!

I feel you, ladies. I really do.

Do I have any answers?

Oh, how I wish.

But, in true form of why I started this blog over 10 years ago- I will share a little of what I have learned in hopes of helping others. <3

In Church the other day while in the “quiet room,” which is more like a panic room with not-so-soundproof police glass, I managed to hear a few words from the sermon.

The priest said, “Obedience is like Faith with legs.” Oooo. I like that, I thought. I began pondering that statement and really wanted to hear what he said next, but was quickly brought back to the reality of my situation when Riley slung a full bottle of milk across the not-so-quiet room at MLB-pitcher speed. I retrieved the weapon, apologized profusely, and began pondering the age old question of “Why did God make babies so freakishly strong?”

Alas- back to the priest.

I really do love that idea: Faith with Legs…

We talked more about it on the way home in the car and the older girls were incredibly enlightened by the comment also. We spoke of how “biblical obedience” was all done quickly. No one, after being called by God, summoned by Jesus, or asked by an angel, took a quick shower and skirted into Starbucks before getting on the road. They just DID IT. They dropped everything, without reason or thought, and followed. Well, not everyone. I do love the cautionary tale of good ol’ Jonah…

There is so much to learn from this and I think we underestimate the power of “obey, right away.” That’s where the HUGE piece of faith comes in. Not after we’ve examined all the possibilities, mapped out the potential courses, printed things out, cross checked, and have a real game plan. It’s doing all of it blindly.

Now, what on earth does this have to do with Back to School?

Everything.

If having a foundation in faith is brought alive by obedience, there is true peace in it. God isn’t going to ask something of you that He hasn’t already cross checked, mapped out, and really thought through. And He’s God. His ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts. They are better. Always. But they don’t always make sense to us, and it’s not always crystal clear.

So, I am going to use my imagination again and pretend I heard what came next in the sermon. Obedience IS faith with legs. But in a world where we think more is better, ( more sign ups, more sports teams, more school supplies, more suppers on the go, )it’s also sometimes just staying still.

So, obedience is going AND staying?

Yes. And we need God’s wisdom to know the difference.

There will be times when following God’s voice will look like picking up your running shoes and joining a race. ( sometimes, even running the opposite way!) And there will be times when following His voice looks like putting things down down for a minute, or even a whole season.

Just ask Him what He wants of you.

We’re not meant to always know the difference, and we’re certainly not meant to do it alone.

So, dear friends- this school year: with a high-schooler, two middle schoolers, a toddler in Pre-K, and a mobile little one-year-old, I am choosing to let Jesus Take the Wheel. And not to be a bickering backseat driver, telling him my perfect plans and hopes and desired snack stops. But to try to fully trust in His love for me, my girls, and our lives. His roads, His detours, His destinations.

And you know what? The more I think back to that tracker trailer dream…I guess it wasn’t me driving after all. <3

Yes! But, now what?

August 15, 2022 by Monica Leave a Comment

Mary, Joshua, Noah.

Not just known as epic names, but also for their epic choices.

Mary- a teen with a dream. And her dream was shattered with a visit from an angel. Did he deliver news that rocked her world? Sure did! Did she run and hide, tell him to check his list twice, and that she must not be the girl for the job? Thankfully not. She, without so much as a fraction of an idea as to what was coming- the pain, the heart-ache, the loss, the lessons-she agreed. And the greatest love story of all time was set in motion.

Joshua- the chosen one to tag-team Moses and lead a band of newly-freed, desert-weathered wanderers to defeat the impenetrable city of Jericho. His odds? About a million to 1. He had to rally the troops, remind them how mana was still considered food- albeit more Keto than carb-y in flavor, and deliver the good news that the city walls would fall to rubble after they circled the city 6 times in 6 days and 7 times on the 7th day, concluding in a loud trumpet blast and shouting.

But Joshua’s “yes” helped execute God’s somewhat-crazy plan, and just as He said they would, “the walls came a-tumbling down.”

Now, on to Noah.

I feel his story is one overshadowed by a monumental, epic rush of furious flooding, followed by a picture-perfect rainbow hanging centered in the cerulean sky.

But there is a story of a very faithful “yes” tucked in those pages.

From what I’ve come to research, and many sources vary, our main character was a 500-year old farmer, in the desert.

Not exactly Chip Gaines.

But all God needed was a nod and a mustard seed of faith. And approximately 377 days of patience on a the salty seas.

The girls and I love talking Bible stories in our morning Bible and Breakfast. Time and time again, you see a common theme woven in these stories- God loves to take the underdog, the outlier, the smallest, the frailest, the ones you might never have known before- and unleash GREAT things within them.

The key ingredients? A willing heart and the faith to enter into something completely unknown without all the answers.

I took a moment to look up the word “yes” and found its origin to be quite interesting.

I found, “…old English gēse, gīse, probably from an unrecorded phrase meaning ‘may it be so’.”

“May it be so…” When I say those words out-loud, there does seem to be a slight hesitation, but with an ever-present attitude of agreement. Almost as if to say, “Well, ( eyes closed, heart pounding, open arms) here we go!”

I find this to be 100 % how I have always envisioned the stories in the Bible going… Moses, Joshua, Mary, Joseph, Noah, and many, many more. I picture their initial “yeses” to be full of trepidation, hesitation, worry, fear, and doubt. Yet, that isn’t the end of their story. With more faith than fear, their willing hearts help mould them into mountain climbers.

Heading into the school year in just seven short days, I am finding myself plagued with anxiety. When I homeschooled my children a few years ago, I was stricken with the same anxiety, but its reasons- dramatically different. I was about to be home. With my children. And teach them. Every day. Yet, I was only worried about doing it well– not the actual journey. For that adventure, I felt completely called.

So what is paralyzing me this year? I had a full on panic attack in my sleep last night. I dreamed of having the perfect Kindergarten classroom, but I couldn’t find my planbook. I looked and looked, even sat down to a meeting with my colleagues equipped with a sharp pencil and fresh notebook, all to be disrupted and never writing a thing down. Now, I’m no dream specialist, but I gather that I’m having trouble with the idea that I cannot predict, plan or control how the upcoming school year will go for each of my sweet babies.

They can be as prepared as can be- have all the right clothes, all the best school supplies, even with their math facts tucked into their new jean’s back pocket. But will it all be okay? Will they have enough friends? Will they get into a bit of trouble? Will they remember what 7 X 8 is? Will they help out when kindness is needed? Of that, my friends, is what we cannot be 100% sure. This is where our faithful, “may it be so”, comes in.

Our children are loved- certainly by us but also by our Heavenly Father. And when we cannot hold their hands, pick them up, whisper encouragement and positive reminders, HE can.

God isn’t asking us to let our children go this year… He’s asking us to let Him GO into their lives. Full charge, each morning, bus-rider and walker, kindergarten and senior, Geometry and lunch…no bars hold. He’s all in.

But are we?

Today I am working to breathe more, hug more, smile more, declutter the backpack closet without losing my mind, and focus on my favorite verse…

A lamp. Not stadium lights- illuminating all things near and far. Rather, His word is a hopeful, glimmer in the dark, with a warm glow, guiding me on my path. My children’s paths. One small step, then another.

So, it is with my eyes closed ( teary as they be), my heart pounding, my tired arms open, that I say- with more faith than fear- “Yes, Lord.”

And now, let the greatness begin…

Back to School: What’s not on the list…

August 9, 2019 by Monica 2 Comments

I just returned from a long walk.

Big woop, huh?

But this walk wasn’t my typical neighborhood, or even paved path kinda trek.

I decided to venture off the beaten path, literally, and adventure out on a nearby mountain bike path.

I normally wouldn’t even think about walking outside at 2 pm in the afternoon- it’s far too hot in the August sun. But I just had get a breather.

My husband kindly offered to watch the kids and referred me to the course- but advised me of the heat, and proceeded to warn me not to get lost.

Thanks, captain obvious.

Seriously, though- thank you sooooo much, hunny. I needed the break.

So, I followed his directions, parked the car and found the trail. The tall grass surrounding the path was bending this way and that as the gentle breeze blew.

It was kind of Heaven.

Blue skies, birds chirping, grasshoppers hopping.

So nice.

I had walked quite a while before even taking a sip of my water-

“This is not bad. I can totally do this. I am not going to overheat, or get lost…pshhhh.” I kept repeating that to myself, between singing encouraging verses of songs from the radio.

And I didn’t get overheated or lost.

Until I did.

I got to a sign- held up by a rusty chain that read, “Trail closed. Do not enter.”

What the what…

Okay, so I’ll just head back the way I came…

Sounds simple enough, right?

spoiler alert: I was actually going back the right way, but I am such a head case ( I saw this old sunken, vine covered house, and it gave me the creeps)-so I gave myself a panic attack… so here is the play by play of that…

********************

I start heading up a hill.

Wait, did I even walk down this hill?

I head to the right a bit.

But, did I originally come from the left?

I pull out my cell phone.

I remember that “Big Brother” thing where it knows where my parked car is- so I enter that and hit “go”.

After walking approximately 20 feet, Siri proudly announces I have arrived at my destination.

UGHHHHHH, Siri.

I enter into a shady area.

I trip over a huge rock in the middle of the path.

And over another one.

Okay, I definitely do not remember those rocks. Or those trees. Or that blade of grass. Nope, not ringing a bell.

Where the frig did that “Beware of Snakes” sign come from??/??/

I am suddenly having a hot flash.

Where’s that breeeze?

There’s a lot of rustling in the bushes.

I’ts probably a hundred hungry snakes and their babies.

There’s weird squeaking and loud buzzing and frequent flapping that are making me stop and stare at everything.

My heart is racing.

A leaf geeeeeently falls out of the tree and caresses my sweaty back and lands between my sports bra and my tank top.

TOOOOtally thought it was a ginormous spider attacking me, so naturally I SCREAM.

The kind of scream you hear in the movies. In the woods.

I normally would have fainted at this point- I’m slightly prone to fainting…

But I just picked up the pace. After I aggressively wiggled and wrestled the stinking leaf out of my shirt…

I have made it out of the shady area, and begin following the path ahead of me now. Until I get to any kind of fork in the road.

I am second guessing everything.

So I close my eyes, and breathe.

I can do this, I start repeating again. A few words from the radio come back to me…

I lift my head and open my eyes.

I see a large, shiny object- peaking out from the dark, overgrown greenery.

I remember seeing this! The old Silo!

Ah, I think I parked near it!

There’s a pep in my step now.

As I get closer to the Silo, it’s such a beautiful sight,. But I do now realize that I did not, in fact, park there.

BUT, I can hear the zipping and zooming of other cars, and it helps me remember that I parked near a major road.

So, I followed the road.

And eventually, I found my car.

Just as the gentle breeze picked back up…

You cannot begin to see the sweat in this picture….

Now, what on EARTH does this have to do with school and your child?

I’ll tell you…

We’ve been spending a heck of a lot of time searching and hunting for the perfect supplies to hold in their their new backpacks.

So, they have the right materials… but do they have the right TOOLS?

What else should be on a school “supply” list?

Dictionary.com defines “supplies” as ” furnishing or providing a person or establishment with what is lacking or needed…”

Will our children face trials, tests, bumps, heartbreaks and hardships unknown?

Some days, could they feel lost and out of control?

You betcha.

And we cannot prevent them from it all.

But you can supply them.

Not just with the stuff on the list…

No amount of glue will heal a hurting heart.

But a smile can.

No technology or GPS device will actually get them to the desired goal. ( Seriously, Siri…. ugh)

But YOU can.

You can provide them with…

Encouragement.

Lift them up. Every good comeback story has a character that pushes the MC down, spits, throws dirt, and meanly states that they can never be what ever it is that they are dreaming to be. But those unlikable characters and hard moments are crucial. It produces determination and grit.

So dust ’em off, show them how to get back out there and remind them THEY CAN. And even when they can’t, He can. NEVER ever, give up.

Believe in them, especially when they don’t believe in themselves.

Image result for i can do small things in a great way

They want to try out for the lead role in Les Mis, but have never sung a single note outside the shower? Sure, it’s a stretch -and they may end up working on the set. But cheer them on, and gently nudge them with the idea that now they have a new chance to shine. Just as there are no small roles in acting, there are no small roles in life.

And last, but not least, point them toward the light.

It may not be their final destination, but it will keep their heads up on the journey. ( think shiny Silo :O)

* and it doesn’t hurt to sneak a little kindness into their pockets…

Soon they’ll be walking in to the classroom with of all the latest, greatest, and requested stuff on that list.

But don’t forget to pack them full of what really counts…

This post is dedicated to my sweet Jane.

Back to School: A Time for Tests

September 19, 2017 by Monica 5 Comments

Back to School!

Ah, if life was only like the TV shows and movies.

Then school time would be a piece of cake.

But alas, it is far from it.

This time of year, although still technically under the umbrella of Summer, has almost zero sense of “sit back and relax.” As if completely unrelated to its 3 month “chill” predecessors, September tends to bring high levels of stress and catapults us back into the daily grind.

Did anyone stress about school supplies this year?

Anyone?

Was it just me??

Well, I sure did. I didn’t just stress, I flat out had a full on panic attack in Walmart when I couldn’t find the proper size post-it notes from the list. FULL ON PANIC. Not my best moment.

I calmed myself, found my children in the various isles they had wondered off to, and quietly exited the store. Post-it note-less.

Oh well.

Then there was packing lunches, buying new last minute clothes ( as my oldest child has discovered how easily items can be altered with a pair of scissors!!!!!!!)… and of course the case of the shoes that fit perfectly yesterday but somehow NOT this morning at 8:15 am. Riddle me that.

I have sworn to deep breathe through these moments and not resort to yelling or freaking out.

Its a good thing I’m not a betting woman.

But I’m trying, people- really I am.

All of this chaos did, however, bring on some reflection.

There are certainly times in our life when we honestly feel we are being tested.

Put through the ringer.

Dragged though mud.

Experimented on.

Poked, prodded, and pulled in each which way.

Well, folks. You’re not crazy. That’s exactly what is going on.

I stumbled upon this wonderful set of sermons* dealing with the concept of being tested.

It was fascinating. I’ll summarize.

It explained the four common trials that plague most people:

1)The Pressure Test

2)The People Test

3)The Persistence Test

4)The Priorities Test

Number one poses the question, “How will you HANDLE the STRESS you are under?”

aka ( the dreaded school supplies list)

Who/What do you turn to when the waters get rough?

Friends? Family? Facebook? Alcohol?

There are many opportunities to “run” from our stresses.

*”If I JUST get to the gym, I know this crazy morning will be behind me.”

*”After my Starbucks triple venti soy skim mocha java non-dairy no-foam extra hot latte, I can take on the world.”

But can you?

There are even more chances to complain.

*”I’m just not getting enough SLEEP…”

*”If only I had an EXTRA set of hands….”

But what IF? Would it ALL go away?

I don’t know about ya’ll, but even after I have been kid-free, massaged, pedicured, and caffeinated -I still blow up at the slightest thing once I walk in the door. Why is that? Is it that I am running to the wrong things?

Number two poses the question, ” What will you do with the DISAPPOINTMENTS in your life- that have come from PEOPLE?”

Now, this one might not make perfect sense at first. It is a question based on the premise that people will inevitably let you down. Not being a negative Nancy, just stating a fact: we are a flawed human race. No one is perfect, so it’s bound to happen.

If we put all our eggs in someone else’s basket, well, we might end up egg-less at some point. ( while someone else is enjoying a nice veggie omelette)

Things don’t always turn out the way we had hoped for or dreamed about. But your problem is NOT the people in your life, it is HOW you ultimately respond to them.

People are not always the issue, OR necessarily the answer.

Number three poses the question, “Will I KEEP my COMMITMENTS?”

This is a test of your character. Are you someone who over-commits? Do you see a clipboard and sign your life away? ( See an earlier post about THE BARE NECESSITIES http://justcomposeyourself.com/2016/11/going-on-a-bear-hunt-plus-a-diy-and-a-challenge/ )

We, as a people, tend to spread ourselves a little too thin- thinking quantity not quality in life.

In this ever changing virtual world, it is also easier to back out of things, too.

Commit now, MAYBE change my mind later… or not…or maybe I’ll go…Naw, I’m busy…

Get the picture? It’s sad, but true.

Will YOU keep your promises? Or find an excuse as to why you can’t…

And number four poses the question, “WHO will be FIRST in your life?”

This can usually be answered by diving deeper into a subsequent soul-searching triad of thoughts.

What do you think about the most?
Where does your money go first?
How do you spend your time?

Any mind boggling results??

No matter the struggle, no matter how long you’ve been fighting…PLEASE hang on. The Dawn is coming. And you will face it stronger than you began.

Psalm 73:23

*To read the full sermon set, click here:

http://pastorrick.com/devotional/english/your-faith-is-being-tested

http://pastorrick.com/devotional/english/trials-test-your-faith