Musings

Going On A Bear Hunt ( plus a DIY, and a challenge!)

November 2, 2016 by Monica 4 Comments

“Going on a Bear Hunt” – American Folk Song

We’re goin’ on a bear hunt
(We’re goin’ on a bear hunt)
We’re going to catch a big one,
(We’re going to catch a big one,)I’m not scared
(I’m not scared)
What a beautiful day!
(What a beautiful day!)

Uh-uh!
Grass!
Long wavy grass.
We can’t go over it.
We can’t go under it.
Oh no!
We’ve got to go through it!
Swishy swashy! Swishy swashy! Swishy swashy!

Chorus: We’re going on a bear hunt…

Uh-uh!
A river!
A deep cold river.
We can’t go over it.
We can’t go under it.
Oh no!
We’ve got to go through it!
Splash splosh! Splash splosh! Splash splosh!

“Can’t go over it.

Can’t go under it.

Gotta go THROUGH it.”

Why is it that, as we tread through life, we seem to do everything in our power to AVOID pain & suffering?

We certainly do not welcome the growing pains…

When we have our eyes on the prize, (get that BEAR!) it’s so much easier to “take the pain” in stride- understand it, somewhat appreciate it.

We KNOW why it’s here. To make us STRONGER

MY favorite group class at the gym is called Triple Threat.

My neighbor says, “Well that just SOUNDS scary!”

It is. And I love it. I scream, yell, grunt, and sweat my tail end off- at times, wondering if I’ll make it through.

Why do I put myself through this?

Just like any other exercise fanatic, I have my end goal in mind while I think I might pass out and die.

So, I press on.

So why do I find it so hard to keep that same mentality when LIFE throws me curve balls? I tend to stare blankly and yell, “that’s not fair!” Like a 2-year-old.

Am I alone? Anyone with me on this?

Things would certainly be easier if it followed the general rule of checks & balances. For instance – if I’ve been good & kind, and haven’t shot anyone recently, life should be relatively easy.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

We all know the famous inquisition “why do bad things happen to good people? ”

I think to the song ” God Bless the Broken Road” by Rascal Flatts and to an even older classic-

“Unanswered Prayers” by Garth Brooks.

Would you REALLY like everything to go 100% smoothly ALL THE TIME? Or to get everything you’ve ever wanted? JUST. LIKE. THAT? Sure, it would be easier, but where would our motivation be? What would spark our drive? What would shape our goals?

These stumbles and shortcomings can and should fuel us for the ultimate end prize. How good does it feel to truly deserve something?

On the flip side, have you ever been the recipient of something you didn’t quite feel you deserved? It’s kind of a crazy, awkward feeling. Like one of those creepy portraits with the eyes that seem to follow you wherever you go. Slightly haunting.

But either way, things in life don’t always go as planned. And I have come to realize that’s okay. I don’t have to have all the answers right now, or know what 5 years down the road will hold. There’s a beautiful peace in life that comes when you just TRUST. Trust in the good. And the bad.

Have you ever been part of a team building exercise? You know, the “trust fall” or the “human web”? The point of these activities is to build faith & relationships and encourage you to trust in the somewhat out-of-the-box methods to achieve the end goal. How awesome did it feel at the end of those exercises? To look back and see the path taken, with all its twists & turns. It felt good. To trust.

I’d like to challenge you to be open to unseen possibilities and to go at life’s closed doors with a grateful heart, and accept the good with the bad.

Without pain, there is no gain.

You know who is a perfect example of perseverance? Get ready for it… a baby. That’s right. A young, innocent, naive human is a stellar example of pressing onward in the face of adversity.

When first learning to walk, at usually less than 400 days old, a tiny human can stumble and fall hundreds of times before actually succeeding. Now, I could be wrong on this statistic, but I have never known a baby who just went on strike, refusing to walk- tired, weak, overridden with their self-doubt, virtually paralyzed with fear from all the inevitable tumbles. In fact, my observations of my own 3 girls and countless others have been that there seems to be an innate sense of sheer grit, that cannot be taught, present inside each child during this stage. They KNOW they are meant for, and therefore capable of MORE, so they endure the pain, (knots on noggins, much?) and press on toward the coveted prize of independence. In the end- their repeated attempts produce strength, balance, confidence and ultimately success, and it is truly an amazing thing to observe.

And so, I attempt to learn yet another lesson from my own offspring. They are fabulous teachers. And singers…

Chorus: We’re going on a bear hunt…

Uh-uh!
Mud!
Thick oozy mud.
We can’t go over it,
We can’t go under it.
Oh no!
We’ve got to go through it!
Squelch squerch! Squelch squerch! Squelch squerch!

Chorus: We’re going on a bear hunt…

Uh-uh!
A forest!
A big dark forest.
We can’t go over it.
We can’t go under it.
Oh no!
We’ve got to go through it!
Stumble trip! Stumble trip! Stumble trip!

May you grow stronger and show your true GRIT through the stumbles and falls in your life…

It will produce endurance…which is a great thing to have-

In this beautiful Bear Hunt we call Life.

Please join me in my NOVEMBER THANKFUL CHALLENGE:

If you are on Instagram*,( with the hashtag #iamgrateful), use this list as a guide, and please join me in shouting out our blessings, day by day, through this month.

*You do not have to be on social media to accept this challenge!*

DIY BONUS-

November Moss Wreath

My supplies:

a 12 inch styrofoam wreath form, 3 bags of moss, a roll of brown Fall suede ribbon, small pumpkins ( fake or real)

I laid out the moss on the top part of the wreath form, just to get a look at it. Then I started to hot glue. Starting with the top, then sides. BE CAREFUL

. I put 2 toothpicks/wooden skewers into the wreath form, and then secured the pumpkins on.

I wrapped the Fall ribbon around and into a bow. I’m thrilled! Happy November to all.

I am thankful for all of YOU!

The Bare Necessities…The Simple Bare Necessities

October 17, 2016 by Monica 1 Comment

My family and I just watched the new Jungle Book by Disney put out in theaters recently. I have to say- well done! The graphics were intense and incredibly realistic, and the story- stayed true to the original written form. I love when books turned movies do that!

A highlight of the movie, for me, was familiarizing myself with the great songs from long ago. I found myself singing Baloo’s famous, “Bare Nessesities,” all weekend long. It poked at my curiosity to actually look up the lyrics- as it has me sold on the title alone.

The song begins and ends with this…

“Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife

And don’t spend your time lookin’ around
For something you want that can’t be found
When you find out you can live without it
And go along not thinkin’ about it
I’ll tell you something true

The bare necessities of life will come to you”

Original song written by Tony Bennett

I LOVE THIS!!

Thank you, Tony, ( & Baloo) for weighing in on a pertinent topic!

Question: Do you think you have A LOT on your plate?

Second question: WHO put all that on your plate?

If there is ANY slight, eensy, teensy, weensy chance that you might have answered YOU, then continue reading.

If you answered someone else, then go ahead and slap them in the face.

Just kidding. Keep reading, too. You need it. You just contemplated slapping someone.

As a stay at home mom, there is an innate need to fill my days with stuff. What kind of stuff, you ask?

Well, things that make me look and feel like I’m doing my children, and therefore the world( of course) a great service.

But there is huge flaw in this mindset. I can’t do it all. Not because I lack the skills, time or monetary purse to fund such endeavors. It simple comes down to necessity.

Why do we run and sign up for every opportunity to “help out”? I REEEEAAALLYY want to say it’s because the human race is the extremely generous and cannot sleep without giving 100% to each other. Sadly, this is false.

I believe we are trying simply too hard to fill our days. And with what?

If you are sitting in a room full of people, and a clipboard goes around asking for volunteers for ____ ( fill in the blank), a daunting number of these anonymous individuals will sign up. And not necessarily because they want to help. Admit it: it just “looks good” when we try. But here’s a memo: trying doesn’t always cut it.

Statistically, the numbers drop as an event gets closer, and as the leader reaches out to the numerous once-cheerful helpers. Somehow life has gotten in the way. And that IS the simple truth.

Now, what does this all have to do with YOU?

YOU do not have to fill your minutes, hours, days and years with STUFF.

YOU, despite your natural inclination, are not being judged on how “much” you accomplish in a day’s time. I’d like to believe it is more about quality, and HOW you spend your time.

If you have done ONE thing, and done it well, I think you should be extremely proud.

Do you remember the slogan, ” KISS: Keep It Simple, Stupid?” I do. It was written on a huge computer banner in one of my high school Math classes. According to Wikapedia, it was a design principal noted by the U.S. Navy in 1960.

“The KISS principal states that most systems work best if they are kept simple rather than made complicated:therefore simplicity should be a key goal in design and unnecessary complexity should be avoided.”

If only I could live out this principal. Apparently- I tend to choose “unnecessary complexity.”

A quick personal example:

My oldest daughter is in Kindergarten. As some of you might know, this was my exact life’s profession in my pre-childbearing years. Kindergarten was my everything.

When Autumn went off to school this Fall, I jumped right in, and despite my better judgement, signed up for EVERYTHING. I thought it might help me be the best “Kindergarten mom” I could possibly be.

Spoiler alert- I was wrong.

The other day, the teacher reached out to me, ( slightly assuming I’m available at the last minute, or wait… I think I told her that I am…), and asked if I wanted to help the class make ant hats.

I, or course, agreed immediately, and turned an already tightly packed day into a full fledged frenzy. Eek. Begin the face slapping.

I’ll spare you the long winded details, but I’ll paint this image-

While I was busy stapling and gluing ant thoraxes and abdomens, my darling Quinn ( age 2 turning newborn, in her behaviors recently) has decided to pitch her socks and shoes, un-click her stroller brake, shimmy down the hallway behind me( while STILL strapped in, somehow), steadily crushing goldfish crackers and destroying any and every piece of beautiful wall art created by the young learners I was trying to aid.

In hindsight- I really shouldn’t have gone to help. I KNOW what Quinn is capable of. She is the biggest handful of a child on the planet. Honestly, she is. And I love her. But she’s a hot mess.

Why on earth did I think she was going to act any differently for this one time? Didn’t she get the extreme importance of my volunteering and my stay-at-home-mom self worth?

She did not, and chances are- neither will your children, or even other people in your life.

My TRYING wasn’t exactly enough. Certainly no brownie points awarded. I’m not saying the teacher wasn’t grateful. Quite the contrary-I received a very sweet email thanking me later that day. But what I figured I’d read was, “Thank you for coming, but please don’t come back…”

I am almost 100% sure that the chaos I ensued on her, and sadly the other children- as they received their tattered art work courtesy of Quinny Poo, far outweighed the “helpfulness” of my being there.

Lesson learned. And one solid point for the hubby. ( He MAY have warned me the day would go this way.)

I URGE you, please don’t follow in my footsteps.

If you manage to wake up, dress yourself, and care for those around you- you are accomplishing A LOT. More than you know. Autumn may remember that I came to school that day, and she may even ask me to do it again. But she will not determine how much she loves me, or what kind of a mother I am if I take a step back and politely decline the invitation.

I’m hoping it makes me a smarter, more loving, more well-balanced mom.

Knowing your limitations is a huge step in the right direction. The direction that seems to lead to a happier, uncomplicated life. And I dare to say, we CAN certainly do with a few less “worries & strife” to juggle.

I encourage you all to dial down your habitual “Yes” every once in a while; at least to anything that’s not a bare necessity. You won’t let anyone down, or do anyone a disservice. You will be doing yourself a favor. And you are worth that. Now, that’s something to check off on a list!

I bet you will actually enjoy the freedom, peace, and simplicity it brings. You might even have a minute to just breath and take in the scenery.

And who can say “NO” to that?

BONUS!!!!!!

The directions to the SIMPLE PAPER (!)WREATH

1.) I started with a 14 inch round thick Styrofoam wreath form( you could do 12 inch, too) and a bunch of packing paper from a neighbor’s Amazon delivery! Perfect! I cut 1 inch wide strips the length of the paper.

2.) I then twisted each strand of paper top to bottom.

3.) I hot glued the beginning of the strand to the Styrofoam, ( be CAREFUL with the glue!) and wrapped the twisted paper around and around, then fasted the end with more hot glue. I began the next strand where I left off.

4.) After wrapping what I thought was enough, I realized I needed a bunch more. Again, a super plus for the packing paper- there’s so much of it!

5.) I cut more strips and wrapped away.

6.) I added some adorable paper flowers ( available at your local craft store.)

I could not be more pleased with the end result. :O)

I hope you can create something simple, too! Cheers!!

It’s A Numbers Game: Holding On Against The Odds

October 2, 2016 by Monica 10 Comments

“As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.”

-Albert Einstein

“Mathematics is written for mathematicians.”

– Nicolaus Copernicus

1, 2,3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 50+,

No, these are not the next winning lotto numbers- although- heck, I might try ’em!

These are simple numbers pertaining to my wonderfully chaotic life:

1–beautiful, loving Heavenly Father keeping me centered and alive

2 – times a week that I wash, blow-dry& straighten my hair & put on make up

3– times I’ve fallen down our front steps. Walk much?

4– books I’ve read since becoming a mother 6 years ago … Eeek!

5-seconds it takes my 3 little blessings to destroy the house

6-minutes it actually takes to unload the dishwasher… Then whhhyyyyy do I dread it so much??😆

7– years it took my husband to propose 😬

50+ letters of rejection from editors & literary agents

Ouch. The last one stings a little. Almost a tie with the 7 years thing… I mean, come on! Really??

Back to the writing…

Fun fact?

I’ve never shared that number before ( with anyone outside my little family circle).

Ever.

Just checking, are we in the trust tree? With the nest…?

Still with me? No judgement, remember?

Okay. I’ll continue.

Most people don’t even know I write & submit. Why didn’t I share this part of me long ago? Numbers. I knew the statistics of a first time writer “making it big” in the publishing world. I knew the odds were against me. And I did not want to be judged: for all my failures. 50+to be exact. I’d rather be known for all my achievements! (Did I mention I make beautiful wreaths?????)

But it occurred to me that there were most certainly people out there who have failed at something at some point. And there are those who brushed themselves off & rose above it.

Since then, I opted to view it as 50+ times I chose NOT to give up.

I like to picture 2 different dinner parties going on- 1 next door to the other.

At the first, people gathered , engaged in serious conversations involving their latest and greatest feats of accomplishments, each 1 more determined than the other to outshine and one up the guests. There is a lot of sweating.

At the second home, a loud rally, popping with stories of recent screw-ups, epic blunders, and famous face-plants- erupting with waves of laughter and high fives. There is even more sweating, but the good kind.

In my ever advancing adventure to redefine reality- I chose the latter shindig. Anyone with me?

So it is with those brave “goofed” souls in mind, that I share; slightly timid- but with a new sense of pride.

And now I’m writing more than ever.

Why? Because it’s who I am. I am a writer.

I did try to stop once- after a pretty big “no” came waffling in. It hurt. A lot. I decided to take a break. So I stuck my journal deep down in a box and shoved it way up in the closet. Did it work? Ha- I just scribbled notes & ideas on the back of shopping receipts & school flyers. And then, in response to a quiet voice, I started this blog.

Shortly after, in reaction to a beyond unforeseen tragedy, I poured my heart out into this newfangled virtual journal. And the response was immense. No judgment. No rejection letters. Rather- I was showered with affirmation and encouragement. Statements were made that truly touched my soul.

With that, I gained an even clearer perspective: it’s not about what happens to ME when I write- it’s about what could happen to OTHERS. If I can help someone, affect a life- somehow through my words, then I have paid it forward.

You see we each have gifts. And this is mine. It doesn’t always come in the splendidly wrapped package we expect or hope for. Sometimes it’s even disguised. But, once you accept it, it’s completely up to you & me what we do with it. Do we open it up & set it free? Or sit in the corner hugging it like toddler yelling, “Mine” at everyone who wants to take a peek?

If I’m insecure & anxious about acceptance or wait for a standing ovation every time I present myself- then I’ll never share or unfasten. But recently I’ve found the more I’m willing to quiet my own heart, strip down & bare-the more joy & warmth I feel from those around me.

So if you are feeling something inside, a calling of sorts- answer it. Please. The world needs you. And don’t worry about being perfect or flawless: it’s very boring and (psssst)- there’s no such thing.

On the flip side, if you are amidst something, and the road looks long & hard, and you’re feeling like you want to quit- don’t. Too many people give up right before something great happens. No one said Life would be easy.

“The darkest hour is just before the dawn.”

-Ancient Proverb

So please, don’t give up on your Dawn.

It’s coming: it always does.

I leave you with this happy equation:

1 hurting world + 1 inspired individual who fights to make a change DOES= a beautiful story 2 tell.

And that folks, is just simple Math. 😉

Until next time… Adieu!

Dreams Do Come True…If You MAKE Them

September 19, 2016 by Monica 8 Comments

It is incredibly hard to describe the 72 hours or so that I had the privilege of being at the Michael’s Makers Summit, in Carmel, California.

I pride myself on being one with words, but when asked to quickly summarize this fortunate endeavor, there are only a few that truly do justice: marvelous, stunning, spectacular, inspiring, and extraordinary.

The honor of being chosen, along with 49 extremely talented women, was honestly so hard to accept. But once I stepped off the plane and was greeted by many other fellow winners, the reality set in & the energy was unstoppable.

Immediately after arriving at the ranch, the feeling was pure peace and tranquility. Maybe it was the lavender, planted carefully around the resort, or simply the promise of hours and hours of diving into my inner most creative being.

Either way, I was in paradise.

A kind gentleman on a golf cart showed me to my room, and upon entering, I was overwhelmed with pure joy. The mere square-footage was impressive enough. But I was nestled up in the trees, with views from every step. As I explored the different nooks and crannies of my temporary abode, I could not help but giggle. How was this happening? Was this real? And yes, I did the obligatory “bed jump”… because I could!

May I add that getting ready for the evening was HEAVEN? No one interrupted me:O) And I may have used an insane amount of Lavender Leaf bath soap.

The first meal was perfection: unsurpassed details , with conversation light and yet precise- discussing the latest trends in DIY, and getting to know each other’s strengths and likes. Did I mention a guest appearance by our beloved “Buffy”, Sarah Michelle Gellar? Her words of encouragement were infused with raw honesty that she had just “found her happiness in making.”

Buffy! She’s just like us!

It was hard to leave the hot chocolate bar, speckled with fun ( slightly alcoholic) fixings, but…

I was so excited to return to my room- it was just me!!!! I bathed in Lavender bath salts, turned on the fireplace, and snuggled in with a good book. Needless to say, my head hit my pillow almost immediately, and that’s all she wrote. (that says a lot coming from a chronic insomniac!)

Tuesday arrived right on time, and brought with it- more beauty outside my sliding glass door, and the exciting maker’s class agenda: jewelry, flower arranging, water color, and macrame.

The fabulous Maker -Heidi Swapp- could not be there with us, so she made sure to chat via video and send us off with some serious SWAG:O)

And on to the classes!

Mikie Russo!!! With wedding menus & such from Kym Johnson & Robert Herjavec’s Dancing With The Stars Wedding!!!

(Lunch adjacent to a sunflower field!)

Again, Paradise found.

Listening to accomplished professionals, tinkering with art supplies, challenging my inner creator-was utterly exquisite.

In each of these classes, we were encouraged to dabble, explore, mix, blend, and ultimately MAKE. No competition among us, no rush to finish, no wrongs or rights. That’s the best part of Making. It is solely up to you to determine the parameters, limitations, and final outcomes. Sometimes your work is unsophisticated, even frustrating. Other times, the results are more polished, skilled and refined. Regardless, it all can be invigorating, inspiring, and just plain awesome…if you let it!

The day ended with a starlit dinner deep in the vineyard, atop poufs and pillows, nibbling on delectable culinary creations. All the while shading in over-sized coloring pages spread under our romantically decorated tables.

I did not want the evening to end.

Some quickly made (lifelong) friends and I extended the evening with fireside chats, taking us long past our regular bedtimes.

After another turn-less sleep, & a top notch breakfast, (and after many teary goodbyes)a few of us adventurers decided to grab an Uber and explore the town of Carmel for our remaining time.

The next 3 hours were even more of a gift. Visiting this pristine beach, with sand as soft as silk, that ran effortlessly into the Pacific Ocean. To the left, stunning cliffs jetting out over the chilly waters. To the right, the notorious Pebble Beach, with its famous golfers and all.

The town surpassed my expectations, with its quaint streets adorned with chalet-like shops and restaurants. Concluding with a memorable lunch (including an impressively legendary singing member of the kitchen crew), I rode back to the ranch with moments to spare, and hopped promptly into my airport shuttle.

The layovers & “red- eye” into DC gave me plenty of time to decompress and reflect. And with each passing moment, my smile grew.

This was truly a once in a lifetime experience, and God’s handiwork in it could not have been clearer.

When things don’t make sense, go virtually unexplained, or seem like a dream come true-I truly believe they are meant to be just that.

So there it is. My best attempt not to bore you with mundane details (again, the writer in me) – but to simply wet your pallet and encourage you to take chances, believe in miracles, smile, grab life and MAKE the most of everything.

And at the very least, just MAKE something! You’ll be surprised at what happens when you do.

Feeling “Rosey”

September 12, 2016 by Monica 7 Comments

I am on my way to Carmel By The Sea, California- to be a part of the 2016 Michael’s Makers Summit. This is a three day crafting extravaganza gathering like-minded creative souls such as myself. I am beyond honored.

mms

How did this come to be, you ask?

I won.

There I said it! Wow, that felt really good!

Find it hard to believe?

I was right there with you.

About 6 months back, I stumbled upon a contest through Michael’s craft stores, using the hashtag #madewithmichaels. As most of you know, that is pretty much everything I make! So I entered.

And forgot about it.

Until an email arrived months later notifying me that I was one of the winners.

Still don’t believe this? Well, at this point, neither did I.

In fact, I replied back to the email, “Dear So & So… Is this a joke? Sincerely, Monica Stoltzfus.”

The response was “No, this is very much real.”

Yet, I STILL had reservations!

Why was I having such a hard time accepting that something so awesome could happen to me?!

After watching an information video, debating it over with family, talking in depth to a travel agent, and securing up child care on my end- I was starting to get comfortable with the reality of going.

But not FULLY.

I realized I was flying out on my baby’s birthday…Enter bad mom feelings again.

But I had to look in the mirror and tell myself she is turning 2. TWO! She doesn’t know the difference between Monday and Christmas!

So… I decided to do it.

But I kept it to myself.

WHHHHHYYYY?

I can’t quite explain it, but it has something to do with still feeling like I didn’t deserve it.

I was the only one getting in the way of owning this experience.

So I kicked myself to the curb.

And here I am,

Do I think I deserve 72+ child free hours in a stunning setting talking about Mod Podge and burlap?

Yes. Yes, I do.

And I’ll tell you why-

“Please put on your own oxygen mask before assisting those around you…”

Sometimes it’s about YOU!

And that’s okay!

It’s not selfish to take care of yourself: to do what it takes to rest, refresh , and recharge your batteries.

How can we possibly be expected to help others if we are worn down, emotional basket cases, who can’t complete a sentence let alone a thought…gasping for air…

Here’s the truth: we can’t.

That being said, I am 100% guilty of dishing out this advice, but wallowing in self neglect.

But NOT today.

Do you know what is on my agenda?

“At leisure.” For hours.

What does that even mean??

No, this is not a universal prank being played on an over tired mom.

This is REAL.

And I only share this to inspire you.

You- the weary, over worked, anxious reader.

Good things can happen.

And they do,

Everyday.

In one of my favorite movies, Enchanted, Patrick Dempsey was constantly calling Amy Adams’ Giselle, ” delusional.”

He found her fairy-tale perception of reality to be grossly out of touch.

I have been compared to the likes of our sweet Giselle, and you know- I’ll take it.

I don’t always break out in song, although I do find it to honestly help put a pep in my dish washing and constant toy pick up.

But I do believe we share a similar outlook.

I prefer to see things as “half-full”, I enjoy making people laugh and smile, and I am absolutely hopelessly hopeful.

enchanted-pic-3 enchanted-gif

What becomes a problem, is when I find myself turning negative and skeptical- all usually on a very subliminal level.

And that was exactly the case with this trip.

I felt it was too good to be true.

Until now.

So if you’ll excuse me, I have to go put on my rose colored glasses & catch this wave.

I’m finally feeling brave enough to say “Yes” & who knows where it will take me.

I hear California is beautiful this time of year…

thumbnail_FullSizeRender[2] (2)

We all need another Hero

August 30, 2016 by Monica 8 Comments

As I left the Philadelphia area last week, after one of the hardest days I’ve ever been through,

I was finding a lot of therapy in the music playing in my car. The words were healing, each refrain lifting me up,

and then my CD finished.

Silence.

I decided to fill the void.

( Enter Monica singing at the top of her lungs.)

“We all need another hero…We all need to find the way home…

la la la la la la la laaaaa, uhm hmmm, hmmmm…” ( I clearly didn’t know the rest of the words)

But I made it a point to google the rest when I got home. If Tina could be so on point with those few words, I couldn’t wait to see the rest!

And this is what I found…

I had it ALL wrong!

The other lyrics of the song are quite deep, and even leave me somewhat confused.

But no offense Ms. Turner, I kinda liked it better my way.

We Don’t Need Another Hero

Tina Turner

Out of the ruins
Out from the wreckage
Can’t make the same mistake this time
We are the children
The last generation
We are the ones they left behind
And I wonder when we are ever gonna change it
Living under the fear till nothing else remains

We don’t need another hero
We don’t need to know the way home
All we want is life beyond the Thunderdome

Looking for something we can rely on
There’s got to be something better out there
Love and compassion, their day is coming
All else are castles built in the air…

What do we do with our lives
We leave only a mark
Will our story shine like a life
Or end in the dark
Give it all or nothing

Songwriters: GRAHAM HAMILTON LYLE, TERRY BRITTEN

So I started really thinking about the whole idea of a Hero.

Webster’s dictionary defines HERO with words such as “mythological, legendary, a warrior, one who shows great courage…”

But my eyes stopped on, “endowed with great strength or ability.”

To me, that could be all of us.

Knowing that there is good in the world, helps us to overcome the bad.

When we were little, having a clear sense of the Hero versus the Villain was so important to our developing sense of morals. We cheered for the good guy, and booed the bad guy. As children, we always wanted to carry the same characteristics of the Hero: brave, kind, persevering, compassionate, smart, and honest. Not the Villain: dangerous, cruel, indifferent, conniving, and deceitful.

Now that we’ve discussed definitions and lyrics, it’s time to decide how we are going to move forward with heroic intentions.

Nike coined the term- “Just Do It”, back in 1988. It was a radical phrase then, and to this day, encompasses an unequivocal amount of possible scenarios.

If what you are about to do with your unique strength and ability is for the good of mankind- then by all means, without a thought, jump right in! I urge you.

However, if there is a doubt in your mind about the benevolence of your future actions, I would caution you to take the following steps:

(As a mother of three young girls, who never seem to think things through, I’m sure Nike wouldn’t mind if I slightly tweaked the logo.)

“Just Do It… but FIRST:

think about it ( A LOT),

pray about it,

discuss it with family and friends,

research it,

weigh the pros and cons,

leave it on the table for a few days,

revisit it,

pray about it some more,

and then if and ONLY if you are still 100% all in,

why go ahead,

and totally

Just Do It.”

Ta-DA! Problem solved!

And if, for some reason this does not become the next “it” slogan for the Millennials, then how about this one:

“Just Do Good.”

Once again, it pokes at our most primitive understanding of morality, but it’s certainly a start.

Maya Angelou nailed it:

Sounds like the world is screaming out, and we don’t even need to find a phone booth to change our clothes.

So, join all the other “good deed do-ers”, to quote The Wizard of Oz, make sure your cape isn’t tucked into your undies…

and well… Just Do It.

John 3:16

No Doctors Needed : In Remembrance of Jane

August 22, 2016 by Monica 8 Comments

My heart is breaking at the recent & sudden loss of a dear friend. So as I weep, I write.

No one has to have it all together, no one has to be perfect. Yet even as I write this, why don’t I still believe it 100%? Because everywhere I look, the message around me tells me otherwise.

I can’t help but feel if we worked as hard to relate to people, rather than impressing them, we would impact those around us on a whole new level.

We should remind the world that its okay to fail, to fall flat on our faces, to be so incredibly lost, so incredibly lonely.

The key is our relationships. Who do we surround ourselves with? Who can we count on? We should be able to depend on those around us to pick us up when we hit rock bottom. To help dust us off, and walk with us until we are strong enough to be on our own again, and face another day.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta wrote on Oprah’s website, “If our relationships can have such an effect on our overall health, why don’t we prioritize spending time with the people around us as much as we do exercising and eating right?”

In a world full of “likes” and “friends”, why are we lonelier than ever?

Because its not authentic. We are afraid to show our true colors, for fear of seeming less than perfect.

So I challenge you all once again.

Reach out to someone. Not via text or email. But really REACH out, ( you must be physical for this). Look someone in their eyes, maybe even hold their hand, but really LISTEN to what they say when you ask them how things are going.

It could be the frenzied neighbor that looks like she really needs a break.

Or the “always put together” mom you see at carpool everyday?

Chances are, no matter who you choose to reach out to, they are dying to express themselves.

So shout it from the rooftops, friends. Be proud of your imperfections; they are what make you approachable and unique. And you never know who you might be comforting by just being YOU.

We may not all be doctors, but we can certainly make it our jobs to try to mend lives one ailing person at a time.

I miss you terribly Jane.

I’m taking August BACK!

August 11, 2016 by Monica 1 Comment

I saw this picture on Facebook the other day, and I just had to laugh. It seems everyone these days agrees. But I would like to respectfully disagree. I love August! It has always meant Summer to me; synonymous with vacation- never school, never work, and certainly never Fall! But now things are being pushed back, and giving good old August a quasi “Fall feeling”. So I have a challenge for everyone! Let’s take August BACK!

Even if school has begun, in what month can you ALSO go swimming after you leave the classroom? Well, AUGUST! How about sports… can you hit up a chilly DQ on the way home from a stinky sweaty practice? Why yes, you certainly can! To remind you- we are talking about eating MORE ice cream. Still with me?

And in the stores- ( this part IS hard for my crafty eye to resist) walk PAST all the scarecrows and adorable Halloween decor that may even be on sale for 30% off ( yes- that means bypassing the beloved candy corn for at least another month) and float on into what is left of the Summer isle and seize that 80% off! Who doesn’t love a steal?

Grab something with a shell on it, an awesome pair of discounted sandals, a bottle of fruity Sangria, a boatload of water balloons and TAKE AUGUST BACK! You can do it! It’s in your blood! August is, and always will be a part of Summer. It is up to YOU if you want a little more adventure in your calendar. I know I do! Who’s with me?

Welcome!

July 30, 2016 by Monica Leave a Comment

IMG_0184 (2)

Welcome to the newest adventure in my always adventurous life! I hope to bring humor, advice, inspiration, and a little sense of me to the blogging world! I am very excited to “just write”, which is my passion. So here goes! I’ll be posting my latest and greatest creation on August 1st… stay tuned!

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