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Just Compose Yourself

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Spoiler alert- Jesus wins

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I love to start off my posts sometimes with a bunch of truths. Truths about life, motherhood, mistakes, messes, and all things real.

In my experience- people like to relate and connect to what they’re reading- like a virtual high-five. So, get that hand ready. Here we go. In no particular order….

I forgot to pick up my kids a couple weeks ago.

I overloaded the washing machine ( for the 100th time) and almost broke it and made my husband very mad.

I let the Amazon guy push a huge 200 lb box across our newly refinished floors, thus scratching them.

I didn’t put on gloves while dying Easter eggs this morning and now my fingers are marbled.

And I’m pretty sure my kids don’t like me.

Now, this is the deafening silence where I pray someone reading this has felt any of these things. If not, I’m just going to keep on clicking the keys. I have both littles taking naps. *Although I did send the toddler to bed with her newly dyed Easter egg, and that was probably a terrible idea because she’ll probably drop the egg from her top bunk and her room will smell like a huge poo and she will be down any second. So I’ll be quick.

While driving the kids around this past week, ( I do my best thinking while driving) I kept having the imagery of light pouring in from darkness. And letters were dancing around in my head, rearranging and coming to life.

This was all paired with scenes flashing from the guilt and shame of my recent parenting where all I do is try to correct, raise them well, and bring them closer but what it feels like is nothing short of yelling, arguing, and walls being put up. I have pretty much felt like a huge failure in this department for a long, cold, barren season now.

Much like winter.

Dreary, frigid, desolate, silent, and what seems like a huge halt in growth.

But that’s not the truth, is it?

In the darkness of winter, there is so much we cannot see. We’ve actually decided there is nothing even there.

Much like inside hearts.

I finally made sense of the letters roaming around in my head. It is a prayer for my children (and myself.)

S. I. C. K.

Selfish, Inconsiderate, Compassionate, Kind.

A total Transformation.

You see, we’re all stuck somewhere, in need of healing, new life breathed into us. Some time we are aware of what we need, other times- it’s everyone else who knows it first.

Only Jesus can do this. Not me.

I cannot burn myself out trying to change hearts.

Only Jesus can do this. Not me.

I cannot perform miracles and expect laundry and dishes to be done with a smile.

Only Jesus can do this. Not me.

My job is to lift them up to the ONE who made them and loves them infinitely more than I could ever try to. And LET Him work within them, while I let Him work with my messes and mistakes.

Nothing wasted.

In the darkness, there is much going on. ( Look around!)

No better time to reflect on this amazing miracle than during Holy Week.

7 days.

Joy. Betrayal. Solitude. Pain. Darkness. Quiet. Triumph.

God transformed all the dark into light.

Brighter than we could ever imagine.

The world was blanketed in messes and mistakes. And you might feel that’s all you’re wearing these day- a snuggy wrapping up all your flaws and failures.

But walk with Him, talk with Him. Give up all your hurt, pain, sorrow and see what He can do.

Don’t stay stuck in the news of Friday…the place where hope seems lost.

Rather, have faith in the silence of Saturday, the promises, and all that cannot be seen- yet.

Believe that Sunday is coming. And when it does, bask in the beautiful light and new LIFE.

Because of the truth:

He wins. <3

True Colors ( plus a bonus pumpkin decor DIY!)

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I love a good meme. I saw some the other day that were surrounding Fall and they just gave me a good giggle. The one that got me the most-

Two weekends ago, when the weather dipped below 80 degrees, I busted out my crockpot- made 15 lbs of chili, let my husband watch endless hours of college football instead of Bluey, lit up every pumpkin pie spice latte candle in the house, and threw on my only chunky sweater.

You could say I was ready for the change.

The funny thing was, the change did not actually last very long. Within the next week- we were back up in the 80’s. And I’m still eating leftover chili.

What is it about this magical season that we long for? One of my daughters pointed out the other day on the way to school that, “I beg for summer and sunny, warm weather and then when I get it, all I want is winter and cold, snowy weather.” Yup. Sounds about right.

As much as people claim to not like change, there seems to be a true pining, a yearning for it each year. I believe it’s why the Fall season is so widely loved. With hints of cinnamon, apple, and pumpkin in our foods, warmth in the textures of our clothes, a chill in the air, and a place by the fire calling our names- it all just makes for a welcoming, friendly time of year.

And for me, it’s the leaves. Not to sound cliche or even silly- but I truly love watching the leaves change. In fact, I was so busy admiring the leaves on a huge Maple tree, that I was a sitting duck for falling acorns. One hit me so hard directly on the crown of my head that I actually yelled out, “OUUUUUUCH! That really HURT!” It was so loud that I apparently scared the dickens out of June laying there in the stroller.

I shared in my latest book, Just Compose Yourself, (in a list of confessions) that I once packed my ziplock bags, dusted off my best sneakers, and holding a flyer from a telephone pole that read “Neighborhood Leaf Collection”- went out to meet my neighbors… to collect leaves.

Turns out… that I was slightly mistaken, and the trucks were coming to grab piles of your raked up leaves. And that was it.

So, after a good laugh every year at this time, I still stop and pick up leaves, collecting them as a reminder of the beauty within.

I say within, because- get ready- a fun, scientific fact about Fall leaves: the color has been in them the whole time. Due to the lessening of the sun shining, and the lack of chlorophyll created, the overwhelming green diminishes, and the leave’s true colors are revealed.

Having that little tidbit of information in my back pocket has helped me with all the changes going on in my own life. This is a busy time of year. I am now spending the better portion of my day in the car-commuting my children to their different schools, toting a tantrum-y toddler around, (she actually launched a handful of Dunkin’ Donuts tater tots at me from the backseat yesterday) helping with hours of homework and test prep, signing permission slips left and right, all while trying not to burn dinner, dropping and cheering the girls at their three different sports, and tucking them all in with bedtime stories and kisses. And as a result- not even getting close to knocking things off my own daily to-do or would-like-to-do lists.

To be honest, it’s very tempting to lay down each night underappreciated and wake up each day overwhelmed.

But, as I rise each morning, to a quiet, dark house- I have tried to sit up in bed and whisper these 16 simple words before ever touching the floor or grabbing my phone. And believe me, the devil will take swings at you when you try this- telling you that this is too small of a step and it won’t make a difference. But friends, it is making a difference- all the difference in the world.

It’s a reset button. It’s not one more thing- it’s the ONLY thing, when I’m feeling this way. When I’m overwhelmed, I’m choosing to be overwhelmed by Him. I feel it setting the stage for Thankfulness- realizing I am still blessed while over my head in the mess.

And being “glad”? It requires opening our eyes, ears, and other senses to the good (its in there!) that lies beneath. Sometimes it’s just buried beneath the to-do’s, the paperwork, the miles in the car, the hugs and heartaches.

No day has been perfect, but there is more joy in my Fall season this year. And it’s not just my from the warmth of chunky sweater or the sweet smell of the hundreds of pumpkin spice everything. It’s truly as if I’m seeing all the beauty and colors in my daily world that had actually always been there, but were covered up before.

So, my friends- pick up that PSL, go for a walk, and look around. Recite Psalm 118 and meditate on those words. The Lord made this day. The next 24 of your hours are a gift. So, embrace it for all can be and all it is. See the beauty in the true colors of the spilled coffee, the mistakes and mayhem, remembering that seasons come and seasons go. But there is good to be glad in. Just don’t forget to watch for those falling acorns.

BONUS-DIY pumpkin decor

CUTENESS overload, right? These are so easy to make- just follow the simple steps below!

Materials: ( I used everything laying around my house- when I want to craft- I want to craft right away! )

  1. ribbon in orange-y colors
  2. a background- I used leftover tiles from Coaster craft night – you could also use a canvas, card stock, an old picture frame, etc.
  3. gold wire or wired twine
  4. brown card stock or a brown paper bag
  5. scissors and glue gun

Step 1) Take the end of your first ribbon and after twisting it a bit, pinch to hold tight.

Step 2) Make a dot of hot glue in the center of your background and push your twisted ribbon onto it.

Step 3) Continue to twist your ribbon and gluing it in a circle.

Step 4) Decide when you want to switch the ribbon colors- it could be a back and forth pattern or just half and half! Cut the first ribbon free.

Step 5) Take your second ribbon and following step 1, attach it right to the end of your first ribbon. Begin twisting and winding and gluing.

Step 6) Finish your pumpkin shape and cut the ribbon free.

Step 7) Cut a stem from the brown card stock and glue it on top.

Step 8) Wrap your finger in the gold wire to curl it, cut free, and glue it to the stem.

Voila! Display and enjoy!

“Hello, Hungry…Meet Bored!”

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Being that this is not my first rodeo, I don’t think that it’s too far fetched to anticipate hearing my sweet kiddies grumble a tiny bit over the summer’s eight weeks. Do I have a plan? Oh, yes. I always have plans. It’s just that life doesn’t always go according to those perfect plans!

After watching a little Bluey the other day, JuJu and I sat on the floor, papers everywhere, with a huge bin of crayons. We were drawing and coloring and life was absolutely grand. Until she tried to eat three crayons, dumped the bin, and slipped backward on the pile of papers. I’m nailing this whole mom thing.

What did I learn from this little experience? A few things, actually. 1) As the Rascal Flatts song says, “Crayons go up one drawer higher…” and 2) That coloring is really fun. Like the scribbling with a 2-year old, outside the lines, not even trying to be perfect- coloring. And just like that, I came up with my summer plan.

Add some C.O.L.O.R!

C- Craft away! For those of you who know me well, it’s totally not surprising to see this. But I really want to encourage those around me to just get messy, create, and have fun with whatever you have. There is something so beautiful about the creative process- seeing something rise from nothing. It reminds me that we are a part of God’s masterpiece in the works. Even if you have no idea what your finished product will look like- just dive in! Last summer, my girls’ favorite day of the week was “Make it Monday.” We took trips to crafts stores and they came home and destroyed the dining room table for hours. It was glorious. Grab those watercolors, beads, glue, glitter, yarn, noodles, sticks, ribbon, stickers- whatever you have laying around. Who knows what you might imagine and unleash!

O-Observe and then tag along! Don’t reinvent the wheel- check out what other folks are doing, and where they just went on a local adventure. ( Yes, this gives you full permission to scroll a while on facebook- for research purposes!) A berry farm 45 minutes away? Yes, please! A park with a free sprayground? Grab your crocs! A museum with BOGO tickets on Tuesdays? I’m all in! Then, ask a friend to hit the road with you- the more, the merrier! (And double the hands! And snacks!)

L-Learn something new! Typical of this forever teacher to say, but truthfully- there is something magical about learning at this age. Not my kid’s age, mine! When I homeschooled during COVID, neurons were firing where dust had been collecting. I was so impressed that I could learn the 50 states and capitals to a song, that I sang it as a lullaby and sometimes in the shower! Learning is not just for our youth- so grab that thing you’ve always wanted to get under your belt- and DO it! Big or small: a new language, marinating chicken with Pioneer Woman’s homemade sauce, or finally getting into needlepoint or Yoga -it’s not too late! Just keep that thinker thinking over the steamy, hot days. You’ll be glad you did and you’re setting the best example for your kids, too. Especially if you flop a few times…and get back up again. Good luck~

O-think Outside the box! Head to the land of impromptu and invention. Don’t have time to get to the movies for the newest summer flick? Then ask a neighbor for their projector, grab a sheet, and watch a classic under the stars. Didn’t make it to the pool this afternoon because of a super long nap? Take advantage of the extended hours and swim after a quick dinner. There’s less people, so you might not get fire-hosed by a random water gun, and no sunblock is needed! #winning. Missed the ice cream truck, again?(me!) Play nursery rhymes on your phone, throw some frozen treats in a backpack, and make them chase you down the street. I’m fully convinced it’s the thrill of the hunt that makes the ice cream taste so sweet! Wishing you were with family in Florida? Put some punch in fancy floral paper cups with tiny drink umbrellas, add an inflatable palm tree, and D.I.Y.* some Hawaiian shirts. *Take plain t-shirts, ( or old ones inside out) dollar store leis deconstructed, and glue their flowers all over the shirts! Top it off with Bob Marley or Beach Boys, serve dinner in the backyard on towels- and you have yourself a beach party.

Last but not least, R-Relax! If the idea of a D.I.Y. beach party stresses you out, then please, my sweet friend- don’t do it! If trying to learn something new gives you an overwhelming sense of anxiety- stick to what you do best. These really are only suggestions and no one knows your family better than you do. If the monthly mayhem of sports schedules and school projects makes your head spin, (like mine) just seize the time to NOT do any of those things. I have always seen summer as God’s built-in time out. Not the “You’re in trouble” kind, but rather the gentle, loving “You’ve been running on empty and might break down soon” kind. Life is busy! Especially with a family! Recharging is nothing to be ashamed of, it’s 100 % necessary! My only hope? That you’ll find some time to beat the daily grind and have a bit more bandwidth to make a few more memories.

With friends around, creativity in your back pocket, and new things brewing- I pray you hear a bit less about being “hungry and bored” and a whole lot more “That was fun!” But, alas- kids will be kids, so don’t forget to squeeze out a smile and think of your own childhood as you hand them the last sips of your water bottle and divi out the emergency pocketbook granola bar while driving home from a 17-minute round of pouty putt-putt.

Here’s to a summer thats full of COLOR

and one where we are perfectly planned and ready! (for things not to go so perfectly as planned.)

A present from the girls: one of their favorite Bluey episodes. Have fun completely relating to the entire 7 minutes. Enjoy!

Walking With a Cross

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As I watched The Passion of the Christ the other night, a certain character made his way into my heart for the first time. While I was deeply pained and tears burst forth, I could not take my eyes off Simon of Cyrene. This little-known player in the Passion had me transfixed on the road to Calvary.

The Romans essentially plucked him from the chaotic crowd and demanded he help the suffering Savior.

What was going on in his head and heart as this outrageous offer was made on his behalf? The movie does an amazing job depicting his initial reaction of disgust and unwillingness. He tries to resist and runs away when they first call to him…

Once the militant men on horses have seized him, they force the heavy cross onto his body and he is literally and figuratively face to face with Jesus. His reaction now has begun to change. There is a moment where there is an exchange within their eyes- and for the first time, you see a softer side of Simon. There is confusion and a spark of sorrow as he looks closely upon the blood-stains and brokenness. It must have felt as though the cross was entirely too heavy for one man, almost two. Yet, Jesus walks on- tired, weary, and purposeful.

The two continue on the long road, with its twists and turns, lined with onlookers- some weeping and some spitting. But all eyes are on the cross.

Its weight, crushing the bodies beneath it, digging deep into the wounds of Jesus and into the shoulders of Simon.

They are walking together, arm in arm, sharing the unbearable burden.

If we look closer, we could possibly see how alike we are to this unlikely character…

We, like Simon, are often plucked from the masses to carry a burden we never asked for, never wanted, never thought was meant for us. It seems to us- unbearable, without an end in sight, and void of purpose.

But, if we choose to walk this journey with our Savior, arm in arm, allowing his gaze upon the final purpose to be ours… I believe we might be able to be changed as a result. We are not alone on this journey to suffering. He is always with us, sharing in our trials- strengthening us when we are weak, too frightened and unsure as what lies ahead. His promise of rebuilding and resurrection comes to life in all of us if we will only have faith.

What ever happened to Simon of Cyrene as he left the traumatic scene that day, having walked side by side with our Hope-full Hero to the place of his sacrifice?

There are almost no accounts, which to me, as a story-writing enthusiast, is inexplicably intriguing. Is it because it allows us to place ourselves directly in his shoes? I believe it is up to us to decide what happened next. Because it is the same question being asked of us all…

What will happen next? To you, to me? What will our direction be? I believe with every fiber of my being that Simon of Cyrene was a different man when he walked away. So, will we be changed from this journey we are on? I pray the answer on this day as we remember all that was done for us, is a resounding, rejoicing, reuniting “yes.”

Imagine the joy awaiting us this Easter at the empty tomb…

Balanced as a Bookshelf

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The takedown of the Christmas decorations brings about a serious sadness in our house.

Where there once was light and bright, there is now dust and drab. However, instead of getting stuck in a state of depression this year, I decided to invite the girls to help re-do our bookshelves. I hoped it might bring a bit of excitement, change, and a possible trip to Homesense or Hobby Lobby if I played my cards right. While Mattie was the only taker, truth be told- letting go of the control and watching her artistically place things here and there with a smile, brought some much-needed joy my heart was yearning.

I have been asked many times over the years about staging and styling a home, and while observing Mattie at work, I pondered the possibility that styling a bookshelf might be somehow connected to working on our hearts. I started making a list ( I love lists…) and before I knew it- my t-chart revealed something: they ARE related! And with a little of this and a little of that, all stitched together, one might achieve the ultimate goal- Balance in BOTH!

So, here we go. My attempt to prove that bookshelves and hearts might just be able to use the same “fixer uppers.”

1) Surround yourself with those you love.

In your home: Have those funny, sweet, cherished memories in frames and right on the shelf for you to see and remember. Baby pictures, trips, gatherings, heartfelt notes and sketches- all that you hold dear. They are the pages of your story, and what has made your life worth living!

In your heart: We have many circles of people in our lives. My dear friend, Jonelle, referred to those closest to us as “kitchen friends.” Those are the folks you can invite to your inner most part of your home and heart where the mess is very much ever-present. It’s so important to have such people in your life. Your spouse, your family, a neighbor, even friends from high school or church. Keep them close and try to put in the time. These relationships are going to need more effort, but they are in your life as a gift, so truly treasure them.

2) Reflect the light.

In your home: Since Christmas lights are all put away, (sniff, sniff) try adding a few extra candles, lanterns and mirrors on your shelves. The flickering lights can warm us and give off a sense of coziness we crave. Pair with a gorgeous little mirror and you’ll send that beautiful light dancing across the room, all year ’round!

In your heart: “In the darkest days of the year, the light of a candle is a striking and powerful symbol of hope and good things to come. Light and darkness cannot exist in the same place at the same time, making the moment that light pierces the darkness both stirring and breathtaking. Every light in a dark place can dispel despair, illuminate hope and provide needed perspective of things as they really are.” – excerpt from https://www.deseret.com/opinion/2019/12/22/21029929/opinion-the-lights-of-christmas-bring-hope-to-a-darkened-world-george-bush

In a world full of heads down, be the reason someone looks up. Throw kindness like it’s confetti! Hold a door, smile more, surprise a stranger with a compliment, look someone you know straight in the eyes-and tell them that they are doing a good job. You’ll be amazed to see how it can warm a hungry, hurting soul.

3) Stay motivated and encouraged.

In your home: My husband and sister have a running joke that my house is a library- on the premise that there are things to read EVERYWHERE. This is 100% true. I even have coffee mugs that say “coffee”, just in case you forgot what you’re drinking. One night, my husband started sweetly saying things to me out of the blue about love and family- and I thought after 15 years of marriage he was finally speaking my love language. But when I focused on his glances and followed his eyes, I realized he was literally reading the signs around our living room. Well played, hubby. But really, to me- it’s more than the decor. I do love a good whitewashed farmhouse sign with the words “Blessed Mama” accented in gold foil. It’s so, so pretty! It also serves as a constant reminder of how even the yucky days-the ones when I can’t seem to get anything right- ( yesterday… last week… the whole month of December…) are still a gift from above. Bible verses, books, framed art- keep yourself inspired by all you see!

In your heart: According to Google- the top resolutions for 2023 were as follows:

  • Exercise more.
  • Lose weight.
  • Get organized.
  • Learn a new skill or hobby.
  • Live life to the fullest.

Raise your hand if you’ve attempted one these?

Raise your hand if you stopped one of these around Groundhog Day?

No judgement here! Let’s focus on the positive! What if, instead of expecting a head-to-toe overall, we work towards making small steps in the right direction? And a huge pat on the back when there is growth made? In lieu of the upcoming Martin Luther King Jr. day,

Celebrate the little things! Be the best bed maker, diaper changer, laundry folder, or trash-taker-outer the state of Virginia has ever seen. And then grab that momentum and keep on going…

4) Think happy thoughts.

In your home: Think of your favorite place to be- a store, a restaurant, a destination. What colors are you surrounded with? What textures? If you’re a flower person- I recommend having loads of plants and faux peonies on those shelves of yours. If you love traveling- have many pieces that reflect the world: little globes, maps, trinkets from places visited. These items make you smile when you see them, so don’t keep them tucked away. Put them on display!

In your heart: If it’s Yoga, painting, ax-throwing or binge watching Hallmark movies- create time for you to be in your “happy place.” You are filling your bucket and, therefore, preparing to fill others. I cannot help but think of the scene from Legally Blonde when Reese Witherspoon’s character, Elle Woods, sweetly states that, “Exercise creates endorphins and endorphins make people happy and happy people don’t just kill their husbands. They just don’t.” Maybe not biblically sound advice, but the theology behind these words might be worth holding on to…

5) Embrace the negative space- it can be a positive thing!

In your home: I have found, after staring at my newly ordered shelves while eating my breakfast, that the occasional blank space highlights the wonderful things I already have. Not to mention, leaving room for a new piece I might just find in the future. Ahhh hemmmm, shopping trip?

In your heart: Those of you who know me well probably just spit out your coffee reading about I am suggesting that you free up your life a little. So, to clarify, I am not claiming to be good at this- I am actually in recovery. From 42 years of being a “yes gal.” But I am working on this. Daily. I’ll never forget the time I received an email asking for a last minute volunteer from one of the girls’ teachers many years ago. I read the email and immediately thought, “I can TOTALLY do this…” Meanwhile, I should totally NOT do this. After approximately 8.2 seconds of thought, I was writing the reply to the teacher and my email made the ding noise again. I minimized my note and saw it was from my husband, who was working in the basement. I opened it to see the word “NO” typed in capital letters at the top of the teacher’s forwarded email. I forgot that I had added his name to the class list serve. Another solid point for the hubby. He KNEW I would respond with a quick and typically overzealous yes, and without any idea of what the cost was. And it always comes at a cost… So my advice for the new year? Learn from my mistakes and keep those free moments free. You might need them someday soon for something spectacular and unexpected.

My last New Year ‘s home and heart nugget is probably the most important. So I’ve saved it for the end.

Remember how IKEA has the warnings on all their shelves and dressers to be secured to the wall so that they won’t fall or collapse with all the weight? The truth can be said for our hearts, too. While we can’t possible predict what each day or the upcoming year will actually bring, I encourage you to anchor yourself with a firm foundation. What would happen if we didn’t rely seven days a week on our own strength and abilities, but rather stayed tethered to the steadfast love and resurrection power available to us each morning?

Remember that having an anchor doesn’t ensure smooth and perfect waters- for a boat or our hearts. In fact, the mere presence of one guarantees there will be serious rocking while the waves and world toss you back and forth. But rest in it’s purposeful promise, His promise- you’ll never be swept away…no matter how great the storm.

Balance in life doesn’t mean YOU have it all under control… quite the contrary. It means you have a secret weapon.

And my heart could use a little of that…

I pray as you enter this New Year, you feel more confident in your decorating skills and excited about what the future holds.

In 2023, surround yourself with those you love, reflect the light, stay motivated and encouraged, think happy thoughts, embrace the negative space, and stay anchored to the source. Who would have thought our hearts have so much in common with our bookcases? Here’s to a year of beautiful, bountiful balance in both!

Happy New Year, dear friends.

Mo’vember: a different kind of challenge- plus a BONUS CRAFT

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Hello friends! Just to set the record straight: this is not a post about a good old mustache-growing contest, ( sorry, hunting hubby) but about the idea of MORE.

More hugs, more calls, more hellos, more thank you’s, more “I understand,” more “It’s going to be okay,” more I’m sorry’s, more I love you’s, more hope.

Because with a heart filled with MORE- there is LESS room for the deceiver. Who brings strife, stress, confusion, conflict, chaos, with each door we leave open. And he loves the holidays. We’ll touch on that in a minute…

More can also help us get into gear- the right now– the “I should…”

There was the most beautiful maple tree on fire with color in my neighbor’s yard, and I kept telling myself to stop and take a photo of it. Day after day, I would try to take a moment and soak in awe of its beauty – but I was always busy running around. One day, on a particularly quiet morning, I went out with my coffee, phone in hand, ready to finally take that photo. Only to find that every single one of the gorgeous leaves had already dropped, prompted by the cool nights and hurried wind. I had missed it.

What else are we telling ourselves can wait, but the true moment flies right by? A phone call? A smile to a sad stranger? A letter to a long distance friend?

The devil wants us to think on it, mull it over, add it to the bottom of the list. He’ll push you to kick-start with what can only be seen first… then, if and only if you have time- to tackle the unseen… the interior work of the day… the stuff you believe no one will notice…

But truth be told- those are often times the most important things ever on a list.

I heard this quote the other day and it stopped me in my tracks. I suppose in my case- if I am perfectly, painfully honest-I could end up waking up with a very organized house, with gorgeous pillows and paintings on the wall, but, depending on the day before, with no one actually living in it.

Am I thankful for each moment for the messes my children make? The endless laundry? The sassy attitudes? The dishes left in the sink for me day after day? The conflict a busy work schedule brings between a man and wife?

What if it all went away? The good and the bad? The things I took for granted?

I know many holiday movies are made with the premise of the main character being utterly overwhelmed and making a wish they could live it all over again- because it must be better on the other side…

*in a new home- that is a blinding color of white, complete with chandeliers in every closet and self-vacuuming sofas

*with a new job- one that comes with perks like a corner office of windows and a personal secretary that brings you coffee and shows up with a notebook in hand, and is also your secret best friend

*even with a new spouse- the hunky, high school quarterback that winked at you before the homecoming dance

And at the end of every movie- there is a moment of clarity: that it wasn’t so terrible the way it used to be. The good and the bad. Because it’s what life is made of. And how we charter these waters of imperfection and the ups and downs are what makes us truly live. Our attitude of gratitude can save our souls…

What if we, before it was too late, also had a moment of clarity like the pinnacle of a Hollywood movie? With tearful conviction and heart pounding, that what surrounds us– the things that annoy us, make us frustrated, bring us to our breaking points are many times the things that bring other people on their knees for in prayer?

Will we wake up on Thanksgiving, tummy grumbling, empty and ready to be filled?

I love a good turkey and pumpkin cheesecake-

But what if we arrived on the day of Thanksgiving already FULL … of the REALLY good stuff?

Of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control?

How blessed would our time together be? How great would our GRATEFULness be?

Life changing… and leaving very little room for anything unfortunate to sneak in.

As I read these words, a new perspective is put in place for this day of gathering, thanks and giving.

I pray each of your tables are brimming with turkey and all the trimmings- including a dusting of love, a sprinkle of kindness and a dash of forgiveness. Is there really anything better we could use a little more of?

Happy, happy Thanksgiving to you, friends.

BONUS-

A Thanksgiving Craft- thankful pumpkins

Supplies
All you’ll need to make these cute pumpkins from paper is listed here:
Paper: one sheet of 8.5×11 card stock or 9×12 construction paper for the smaller pumpkin
Glue Stick
Green Pipe Cleaner
Hole Punch
To begin, cut your paper strips. For a small pumpkin (about 4 inches in diameter) you will need 4 strips that are 1 inch wide by 11 or 12 inches long. Write one (or more!) things you are grateful for on the strips.
Write on all the strips.
Glue two strips together in the middle, creating a plus or “t” shape.
Then glue on each of the two other strips at a diagonal. The paper strips should be evenly spaced like spokes on a wheel.
Use a hole punch to punch a hole at the end of each paper strip. Leave about a quarter of an inch between the end of the strip and the hole.
Beginning with the top strip, thread the pipe cleaner through the holes on each end of the strip. Next, you’ll continue by bringing up the ends of the next strip and threading them onto the pipe cleaner as well. Repeat with the last two strips to make a pumpkin shape. 
Twist the pipe cleaner and create another small loop to secure the strips. Curl the rest of the pipe cleaner around a pencil or your finger. Display and enjoy!

More Than a Feeling: Reach Out and Touch Someone

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As I sat and played with sweet baby June the other morning, I couldn’t help but be amazed. She was picking up different shaped blocks and trying to find where they went into the roof of a wooden house. I was truly fascinated. The troubleshooting going on was impeccable. She would rotate and twist the bock until finally, it smoothly slid into the shape’s window and clunked into the bottom of the house. June’s face was pure joy.

It was at this time that I decided to download an early admissions application to Harvard, and began filling in the required fields.

However, my thought process was halted moments later as I was suddenly hit with a flying object. A red plastic cylinder.

I turned to June, who didn’t even look the least bit sorry. She had more on her mind. Armed with another block in her tiny little hand, her expression said it all. She was beyond frustrated. Instead of twisting and turning with finesse and focus, she proceeded to slam the block into the wooden house repeatedly while screaming at the top of her lungs.

Oh, dear, sweet, adorable, fit-throwing June… don’t you know you can’t force things in life? The square doesn’t go in the circle… and it never will, my darling. Please, let’s try it this way… Oh, oh, ouch! So we’re throwing things again? I see how this is going to play out… I guess I’m putting a pin in this Harvard application, missy. It’s time for a nap…

For both of us.

Time and and time again, my moments with June are teaching me about moments in life. MY life. If I am honest with myself, I have definitely tried to fit some circles into square holes, twisted and turned my attempts and then slammed, thrown and screamed when it doesn’t go as planned. I am 100% guilty of relying on my own ways.

I guess I still have a tendency to be a giant baby when it comes to reaching out and handing things over.

By contrast, someone who is known for her extraordinary trust can be found in Luke chapter 8.

In church this past Sunday, we read about the woman who was hemorrhaging for 12 years. She shuffled through the thick crowd in hopes of simply touching Jesus’ clothes. 12 years of suffering… not just a hard day here and there. But rather- what seemed like a lifetime of turmoil, hurt and isolation. I’ve heard this story dozens of times, and I’ve always focused on her physical condition. But this time, I found myself honing in on the condition of her heart. And as a result, a new version of hope and encouragement found its way into mine.

My pastor approached his sermon with this angle- WE are just like that woman, at her core. We are all in crisis of sorts, and therefore, holding an opportunity for faith in the palm of our hands.

We. Us. Humans. For over 2000 years.

We, too, have “heard” of this Jesus character. We’ve been told stories of his amazing feats, miracles and power. Some of us know much of him, some very little. Some of us have given him whole hearts, some are paralyzed with fear and hurt.

But is he worthy of our trust? Does his resume simply peak our interest or earn our complete surrender? Will we run to him first? Or only as a last resort?

The woman in this story was the later, on all accounts. But my take away from the sermon was that this woman acted with less knowing about and more trusting in, even when all looked lost and it seemed far into the second act. The battle was not won by the strength of her faith, it was the mere presence of it. It was enough…and great was the reward.

We, too, might be searching for the answers in all the wrong places as this hurting woman was. But let us never forget that 2000 years after this story, Jesus is here for us now. We don’t have to fight the crowds or search far and wide. He’s been there all along, right beside you. Try to feel him at this very moment. In whatever you are experiencing- prologue, intermission or finale.

What if you, too, reached out for the loose hem of his clothing, (with even a mustard seed of faith) trusting in what he can do, believing that He is everything you’ve heard of? This beautiful account reminds us that it’s never too late.

Close your eyes and breathe in these lyrics…

( it’s a video- so just click on the picture)

He is more than a feeling. Let him be your healing. It all starts with a simple touch.

A Labor of Love

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Raise your hand if you’ve ever been frustrated? A tiny bit angry? A tad on the edge of blowing up? A hair away from a breakdown?

If you answered “yes”- then I’m right there with you. If you answered “no” – well, hats off to you! You must have the patience of a saint!

Labor Day can be, in theory, a day off from regular life. A holiday- from work and the demands of a stressful daily schedule. It’s on every calendar and commercial- it’s the real deal! However, I say “in theory” because in my home, this did not actually happen. I can proudly say that I’m 100% guilty of a completely unrealistic goal to have a stress-free day without the normal chaos of motherhood.

I had hoped for a blissful family day, one where there was helping with the dishes after breakfast, a picnic lunch in the backyard, followed by a final swim in the pool and a movie night!

I know, what on earth was I thinking? ( I do this a lot.)

While my expectations were obviously miles off, my husband’s were not. He had a day off from work and a to-do list to start tackling. That’s what he was excited about! Leaf blowing and a garage pick-up. And that makes perfect sense! When else was he going to do it?

But this is where the tension, frustration and slight anger on my part began…

Just because the post office doesn’t deliver mail, that hot dogs are BOGO, and that you can get couches and refrigerators for 75% off doesn’t guarantee a peaceful day in the home. It was quite the opposite! More people, more snack wrappers, more arguing over the TV remote, more “I thought YOU were watching June…” (I’ve seriously heard that 10 times this morning.) Eek.

Ladies- and gentleman…there IS no such day off for moms.

BUT- there also is no such things as a day off for Love.

And I’m just starting to realize they are intrinsically and eternally connected.

Labor- by definition-

verb

  1. work hard; make great effort.”they labored from dawn to dusk” Similar:work (hard)toil, slave (away),grind, sweat, struggle Opposite: rest, relax, laze
  2. have difficulty in doing something despite working hard.

Ahhhh… “to make great effort”, “struggle”, “have difficulty despite working hard”. Wow. I believe that pretty much describes my general day.

When I decided to take a moment (and step outside because I was legitimately throwing a toddler fit that I was ” laboring” and doing dishes by myself and everyone was and “resting and relaxing“) I breathed in and out and wondered what God thought about this idea of work.

So I googled.

And this is a verse that came up.

Okaaaaay, so that was humbling.

God ALSO doesn’t ever take a break. Or get a day off… or relax and rest…when it comes to us and our salvation. He WORKS. ( present tense) Hard. Each and every day- pouring His love into us- even on the days when we don’t quite deserve it. ( ahhhhheemmmm.)

He has also given each of us gifts- unique abilities- that He knows will propel us into a life full of happiness, joy, and for His good. And a Holy Spirit to call on to give that extra boost of patience, kindness and fortitude. Our “labor” can, in fact, be a gift. To our families, to our friends and neighbors, to our Heavenly Father.

Then, for kicks and giggles, I looked up the verse that followed. I thought to myself- if that verse was spot on- I bet there’s some serious wisdom in the following verses.

Mic drop.

So… I think what I’m hearing is that I should put on my big-girl pants and quit my crying.

My life, my children, my marriage, the dirty dishes…( It’s just coincidence that those two followed each other, BTW…) it can all be labored with love. It just takes a little less grumbling and a whole lot more Jesus.

I am off to open my heart, mind, and hands to the work of Him who loves me.

Now, if you’ll excuse me- I need to go find June.

Motherhood: A whole lotta laundry, a surge of soap and a courageous cacti

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Funny motherhood quotes. | Quotes about motherhood, Mother quotes, Mom life quotes
Funny Mom Quotes That Will Have You Cry-Laughing | Reader's Digest

Ha- did I get your attention with this blog post title? It came to me in pieces, but the final part was on a neighborhood walk… keep reading for that story…

Now, Motherhood. What job on earth compares? Not many, I dare say. I love the memes and images that come up when you google Mothers.

A few of my favorites: ( seriously get ready to spit out your coffee)

https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-mom-memes/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

I chose the title to highlight a few things about Motherhood that have been on my heart. Two truths and some encouragement.

A whole lotta laundry: I was fighting with the laundry the other day ( the clothes were winning) and as I struggled with a sore back and aching arms to successfully move what seemed to be 30 lbs of soaking wet pants, soccer shirts, underwear and towels from the washer to the dryer, something smacked me in the face. And it wasn’t a loose baby sock. Each time I leaned in to transfer the heavy load from one machine to the other, I found myself mumbling, “I do NOT remember putting ALL this in here… jeesh, this is utterly ridiculous…and it’s HEAAAAVVVYYYY.”

Okay, am I alone on this one? Has that happened to anyone else while unloading the washer? I think I reached in 10 times and pulled out everything our family owns. How did it all get in there? I know I don’t love to sort, but I can’t imagine throwing all of that in. In fact, the washer can’t wash and the dryer can’t dry if it’s overloaded… See, Adam, I do listen when you talk :O) The “chunka chunka” noises coming from my laundry room are certainly sounds of a something extremely hardworking, but also the very sounds of something that could break at any time…

ooooooooo.

You see what I did there? Huge metaphor for Motherhood. Right. In. Front. Of. Us.

We don’t always realize the burden and weight of all we’re doing until it comes down to the wire. The machine buzzer, or in Mom terms: the child who asks us to find their favorite shirt as the bus is coming down the street, the email asking for one more of your already-packed hours, the shopping list that keeps building, the overdue library books, the gym membership that’s collecting dust, the Amazon order you were counting on thats now somehow “lost”… and I could go on and on.

It’s a lot. And it’s heavy. And it certainly didn’t start out that way, did it? We had really good intentions. But we’re only one person.

Matthew 11:28 - “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, a...

On to the next metaphor…

I was cleaning the bathroom the other day, ( another highly relatable moment in a Mother’s life) and I was refilling the beautiful soap dispenser I had recently purchased from the Magnolia section at Target. Full disclosure- sometimes I go there and sit on the couch and pretend Chip and Jo are sitting next to me and ask for my help on their next project. Then, someone throws something at me and wakes me up from that dream….

So, I slowly and carefully tipped over the extra-large refill container and started to gently squeeze and let the soap flow into the pretty one. All went well, I filled it perfectly! Then I went to put the dispensing top on and the soap erupted like a volcano on all sides. Now I had a huge mess. I may have added the perfect amount of soap, but I had forgotten to leave room for the most important part…

amen!!

Lastly, some encouragement.

I went on a walk in my neighborhood yesterday and I was stopped by the sweetest older gentleman. After exchanging “Good Mornings”, he pointed up his driveway and asked me to watch the cactus sitting by his porch.

I took off my sunglasses and stared at it intently. The sweet man smiled and let out a little chuckle. He told me that he didn’t mean watch it right now, but be on the lookout for what would happen soon. He went on to tell me that this particular, amazing cacti only blooms once a year and when it does, its only for a day.

Once a Year These Cacti Will Flower for 24 Hours » TwistedSifter

This, my friends, is our challenge and blessing all in one.

Motherhood- a vocation, a load that is heavier than we thought it would be, a life where we are overflowing with our commitments to our families, our communities, our world. There are many times when no one will even see us at our best, how hard we are working behind the scenes. Most will walk right by and only see the pokes and spikes of our un-showered, un-caffeinated exterior. We will be tempted to measure ourselves by all that we’re not. But rest assured, you have a greater purpose. There is a beauty in it all, and we can bloom nonetheless. You are brightening the world- one day, one heart at a time.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Pin on For the Home

I am who I am

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I once found myself stuck on the floor of my oldest child’s bedroom, completely paralyzed between two squeaky floorboards. This was all after my forearm was caught behind her pillow for ten minutes as she had put the tooth fairy pillow on the wall side of her bed. My hand was completely stuck holding a teeny, tiny envelope with a teeny, tiny letter inside with teeny, tiny handwriting and an origami dollar bill. Once freed from that ridiculous position, I tried to quietly exit the room with ballet movements I had only seen in movies. When all of a sudden, as I was almost home free, I stepped and heard a creak so loud my daughter’s head popped up. I hit the deck like a spider monkey- spread out on all fours, hovering above the rug and loud floor. Sweat was dripping down my furrowed brow, as I contemplated my next move. But the light from my bedroom was illuminating my whereabouts so I couldn’t slowly crawl and with each new movement I made- hand or foot- some new creak came out. The creaky floor boards were multiplying..is that even possible? Instead of crawling, I decided to channel something I had seen on Bear Grills about being stuck in quicksand… I laid completely flat on the floor to distribute my weight and tried to shimmy like a snake out of the room. I barely made it into the hallway before the snorts of hysterical laughter hit as I wondered what had gotten me into this mess.

Sneaking around boots fence GIF - Find on GIFER

I am Me.

That’s why I was in this mess.

It’s why I’m always in a huge mess.

I truly believe I can be all things, do all things, complete every task at hand, and nothing will fail.

It’s a blessing and a curse, really- my obscure and sometimes out-of-touch positivity.

And in the case of the “stuck in spider monkey position on a child’s creaky floor at midnight,” it’s definitely a curse.

The other day my husband, bless his heart, had enough of my hi-jinx, ( this time- a late St. Patrick’s eve debacle with a Barbie pool being filled with green food dye and green glitter…) and looked at me with his sweet eyes and said, “Monica… this is ridiculous. We can’t be everything. It’s Santa, it’s the the tooth-fairy, it’s the Easter bunny, it’s the elf, it’s the wishing owl ( something I made up, of course, with a creepy fake owl on a farm fence post…) Honey- you can’t keep doing this.”

Ouch.

Wait, did it hurt because he said it? Or did it hurt because it’s true?

Probably the second one.

Why is it that us moms feel the need to BE all things? It’s not humanly possible, yet we try with all our might. It is that we feel our worth is riding on all those titles? The imaginative and the real-life?

Not only are we fairies and elves, but we’re volunteers, directors, drivers, chefs, nurses, party-planners, politicians, and every other hat we can fit on our heads.

And it’s draining. On us, and on our families.

So, if we can’t do it all, then who can?

No, dear ladies- the answer is not our husbands. Try as they may, they are incredibly prone to being “fast fixers” but they are certainly not fairy material…

GUEST COLUMN: A Review of The Tooth Fairy — Every Movie Has a Lesson

And it’s not our neighbors, friends, or co-workers either. Although asking for help is a bold, beautiful thing. See post from many years ago….

The Bare Necessities…The Simple Bare Necessities

The answer, I’m learning, is God.

He can be, and always will be ALL things.

If we let Him…

My children and I watched the movie Prince of Egypt the other day and something hit me like never before. Growing up well-versed in all the Bible stories, Moses and the burning bush was certainly not new to me. But watching the scene in that movie connected to something I had just heard in a sermon just days before.

An expert on the explanation of Exodus 3:14…

The phrase translated “I am who I am” in Hebrew is ehyeh asher ehyeh. The word ehyeh is the first person common singular of the verb to be. It would be used in any number of normal situations: “I am watching the sheep,” “I am walking on the road,” or “I am his father.” However, when used as a stand-alone description, I AM is the ultimate statement of self-sufficiency, self-existence, and immediate presence. God’s existence is not contingent upon anyone else. His plans are not contingent upon any circumstances. He promises that He will be what He will be; that is, He will be the eternally constant God. He stands, ever-present and unchangeable, completely sufficient in Himself to do what He wills to do and to accomplish what He wills to accomplish.

https://www.gotquestions.org/I-AM-WHO-I-AM-Exodus-3-14.html

When God told Moses, “I am…” he was stating his complete power and perfection. Last time I checked, I could not be summed up with that same statement. When I begin with, “I am…” I usually follow it with “mother”, “wife”, “friend”, “sister”, “diaper changer”, “temperature-taker”, “dog poop picker-upper” and these days-and I quote “mean mom who won’t give an 11 year-old an I-phone 13.”

By stark contrast, in a beautiful sermon I heard at the funeral of a dear friend’s mother, the pastor went on to say that what follows when God says “I am,” is everything. “Father”, “friend”, “comforter”, “leader”, “guider”, “provider”, “the Way”, “the Truth”, and “the Life.”

And even though I go through my days willing my plans and relying on my own strength, (all to the tune of, “I want it that way…” by The Backstreet Boys playing in my head), I know that I have a choice, every single day.

There will always be disappointments, letdowns, changes, losses… battles we can’t win with our #tweens.

There will always be more to sign up for, places to be, things to achieve, titles to hold.

But, again- the question is- Where is my worth?

How can I answer, “Who am I?” without all the madness above?

I’ll leave you with this short scene from one of favorite recent movies.

I highly recommend viewing the entire movie, especially as a family.

The next time you have a chance to answer, “Who am I?” – resist temptations to define yourself through your achievements, titles, accolades, or prove yourself with your last post-able picture. And ignore the world telling you that you are only as good as your imperfect parenting, worst flaw, or classic short-comings compared to unreal expectations.

Slowly, take off each of those hats, one by one, and then take a moment of quiet.

When you find yourself wondering what is left when all else is gone, listen hard to hear His gentle, comforting, life-saving words. The only words that truly matter.

He is whispering, “I am.”

Alina Wu Art
John 3:16